Monday, April 8, 2013

Commander Butthurt retains #1 lulz generator title

by Brown Nose the Pirate
Troll at Large

Year in, year out, no one in the shortwave pirate radio hobby generates lulz at his own expense quite like Pat Murphy and his falter ego Commander Bunny of baby monitor radio powerhutch WBNY.

April Fools Day 2013 was no exception, other than providing an exceptional example of the Lagomurph's knack for snitching dual fail where most fail addicts would be satisfied with one.

Despite months of slacking off, your friendly neighborhood troll-bloggers here at Radio Paranoia sobered up just long enough last week to slap together a transparently obvious April Fools Day prank post.  Mostly it was just our way of saying "Yes, we're still alive and occasionally sober."  It wasn't our best effort at trolling, and we certainly didn't expect the Lagomurph to swallow like a Thai ladyboy.  But ya gotta admire his enthusiasm.

Too subtle?

After swallowing like the AVN for Best Oral was at stake, Commander Butthurt not only hacked up a hareball on his own blarg, he also managed to pull a deuce out of his butt and immediately took a giant "Welcome home, suckers!" dump in the newly revived FRN.  Apparently the Lagomurph hadn't taken a crap since the annual Ides of March FRN shutdown and was so full of Murphy he exploded on the FRN.  Fortunately the place is a ghost town and nobody got tagged with any spatter.

Watch your step, kids, it's foul going between the piles of cecotropes under his Murphy nom de guerre, and under his Commander Bunny nom-nom-nom de hare.

The timing couldn't have been lulzier.  The FRN came back online April 2.  We thank John Cruzan and hope he had a restful respite in the arms of Eris.

Screencaps provided so you don't need to visit the WBNY blarg, or the FRN - although the latter is such a ghost town now it's easier to find the few posts from the handful of the faithful, bless 'em (not a dig at you fellows, honest).  So far Murphy is using only the CB radio alias and hasn't activated his sock drawer army... yet.

Murphy takes an April Turd dump on the FRN.
This pile of poop was later wiped clean.

Commander Buttmunches on a fresh pile of cecotropes.

Your butthurt only makes us stronger.

Monday, April 1, 2013

Bidding war over FRN domain may be won by Family Radio Network

by Pheme Ossa

Radio Paranoia learned late Monday that the apparently abandoned FRN - formerly the Free Radio Network - is the target of a bidding war for the desirable three-letter top level domain.  As of last week insiders say the high bid was held by a syndicate formed to pool the resources of the HF Underground, Free Radio Cafe, and a consortium of shortwave pirate radio operators and fans from Lula, Georgia to Poutine, Canada.  The domain has an estimated market value of $500, but in a bidding war may reach into the thousands of dollars.

However by Monday a new front runner emerged, indicating the Family Radio organization plans to obtain the domain for an unspecified high-four-figure sum.  The goal, according to an anonymous source, is to relaunch the FRN as the Family Radio Network and "purge the domain of the fetid remains of the stinking hutches of hell."

The FRN has been dormant since the annual Ides of March outage, an esoteric religious ceremony observed by domain owner John Cruzan.  The 2013 domain outage marks the longest recorded continuous period of hermetic worship by the domain owner, reportedly an effort to ward off the too-familiar Spring tornado curse.  While the history of the annual ritual is shielded from outsiders, it appears to derive from Discordianism and features sacrifices of mystical butthurt gathered from the shed rabbit fur of Pat Murphy's annual histrionics and presented as a burnt offering to troll goddess Eris.

Pirate radio fans who actually give a single dry turd about the history and heritage of the FRN, which was relevant for a few minutes over a decade ago before Pat Murphy socked up it, are urged to support the HF Underground, Free Radio Cafe and Alfa Lima coalition in a bid to purchase the domain and give it a decent burial.  Show your support with PayPal donations, ad click-throughs or, if strapped for cash, just keep doing what you've been doing - positive support for the hobby.  In other words, the exact opposite of whatever the hell Commander Buttmunch did that killed the FRN.