WBNY Changes Format From Misanthropy To Misogyny, Stalking. Commander Bunny Declares "The Fun Is Back!"

"You aren't too smart, are you?
I like that in a man."
--Matty, Body Heat

by Pheme Ossa

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In a move carefully calculated to alienate every last shortwave radio listener in a way that only a crafty radio veteran who'd finally gone batshit insane could dream of, Commander Bunny announced he's changing the format of pirate radio station WBNY from mildly misanthropic to full blown misogynistic.

"My instincts never fail me," asserted the bunnyman, munching on cecotropes, his favourite snack. "My supporters sockpuppets assure me this is the right move for this time, the twilight phase of my career."

"Besides," he confided with a leer, "my statistically significant sockpuppet surveys tell me the bitches are asking for it."

Commander Bunny kicked off the format change on Thursday, October 20th with a major weekend campaign via his WBNY blog by first accusing veteran shortwave radio columnist Gayle Van Horn of being behind the "in-bred-Brasstown-Mafia" who were using the blog Tales of Radio Paranoia to spread "outright LIES to slander and defame" Commander Bunny and his personal diaper changer and drool bucket cleaner Kracker.

The wily Virginia Bunnyman showed no indications of ironic self awareness during this announcement. "That's a good indication of encroaching autorectal agnosia," according to a veterinary psychiatrist, "a complete and irreversible lack of awareness of being a consummate asshole."

The blogging bunny - who is better known as an internet sensation than pirate radio operator, as most WBNY logs were actually posted by the Commander himself using multiple sockpuppets - enjoyed a huge increase in negative attention in the wake of this totally unsubstantiated accusation.

"Hey, the only thing worse than being talked about is not being talked about," said the harebrain. "I read that somewhere... maybe on Guise Faux's blog."

However by Friday, the lepus jackassus was backpedaling frantically as his accusations were refuted.

After three similar Official Press Pus Releases and numerous panicky revisions to cover his cotton tail and avoid a lawsuit for libel, the Lagomurph declared "Ha-ha, only kidding! Seriously, just joking, Gayle and Larry, you know me, big kidder, umm... sooo... how's the weather there in, umm... and Bob Groves, he's, uhh... great guy... hey, guys, no need for lawyers, right? Satire, fair use, you know, just my 'shtick', doing my 'thing'. Okay, gotta go... got another press release to publish. You know me, so little time, so many people to alienate from a dying hobby."

Satisfied that he was onto a good thing with the format change, the veteran micro-broadcaster of dozens of quality programs heard by dozens of feral cats in his back yard had yet another surprise for fans.

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"...okay, so, I was wrong about Gayle but, umm... I MEANT TO BE WRONG! Yeah, that's the ticket," claimed master of disguise, Commander (aka, 'Guise Faux') Bunny.

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On Friday, Oct. 21, the rascally rabbit declared "Ha-ha, umm... me again... okay, so, I was wrong about Gayle but, umm... I MEANT TO BE WRONG! Yeah, that's the ticket. I knew all along it wasn't Gayle. It was all part of my master plan. And by 'master plan' I mean I'm desperately searching for someone else to blame and I have no idea what I'm doing dear god help me somebody please take away my computer before I blog again..."

After dart-gun injections of Haredol and Rabbilify, Commander Bunny was fit for duty and churned out another press release, this one blaming a woman shortwave listener in Florida for masterminding Guise Faux. Describing the woman as "a little-rich-girl-trust-fund-computer-bitch" and accusing her of "hate-induced-hysteria-and-angry-paranoia!", the delusional bunnyman deftly demonstrated both myxomatosis induced dementia and record setting abuse of hyphens.

Commander Bunny also confirmed his complicity in stalking mildly amusing a woman, by specifying the location where a WBNY sticker was posted near the woman's home, and defacing Florida public property in an aptly ironic way so that street signs now read "STOP COMMANDER BUNNY". Gangsta wannabe Kracker hinted at his own complicity by describing the grade-school level stunt as "tagged". Later in a grocery store while shopping for the bunnyman's Depends, the tuff-guy poser was beaten senseless by an eight ounce container of Mexican strawberries, which scampered away singing "Who's 'tagged' now, bitch!" Florida authorities declined to prosecute the vandalism, saying the Lagomurph's "obvious dementia, inability to grasp concepts more complex than 'Take three times a day for paranoia', and obsession with dirty socks should be punishment enough."

Asked whether the weekend's publicity campaign was a success, the hare declared "Without a doubt! I devoted a decade to generalized misanthropy and tepid monkey-oriented insult humor, and a run as a 10 watt international relay station, but that era of the WBNY legend fizzled out long before this solar cycle did. Now I feel reinvigorated by this new mission to bully, harass, intimidate and cyber-stalk women.

"There are relatively few women interested in the radio hobby in general, and fewer still who participate in the shortwave pirate radio scene. But I'm determined to earn the first pirate radio "WAS" award (Women All Stalked) from NASWA and to clinch my place in the organization I pioneered to glorify myself - The North American Pirate Radio Hall of Fame - as the all time greatest at snatching defeat from the jaws of victory. With my knack for interviewing myself and your knack for fabricating quotes I never gave, I'm confident my utter ignominy is assured."

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Update 10/31/11
See corq's response to the recent cyber-harassment by Pat Murphy (aka, Commander Bunny of WBNY):

Final thoughts on the WBNY [manufactured] Controversy