Thursday, May 26, 2011

Guise Faux Unmasked!

“Man is least himself when he talks in his own person. Give him a mask, and he will tell you the truth.”
-- Oscar Wilde

My dread secret is out, and I am relieved. This week I revealed that I, Guise Faux, am Commander Bunny.

Those of you who dare may read my confession on my other blog**. But if you are too stoned stunned to accept the Truth! Here are a few quotes to PROVE the Truth of What I Say!!!

"...Guise ... really the Bunny, spoofing the dumber-than-rocks monkeys..."

"Radio Paranoia ... its really Commander Bunny making fun of the dumber-than-rocks monkeys, yet again."

"The question is; “Is Commander Bunny behind all these websites just jerking our chains”???"

"He’s been known to spoof the monkeys in the past...

...Commander Bunny is in fact Guise Faux..."
"...he controls these slack-jawed, lip-droolers too ... Commander Bunny was behind every conspiracy in Pirate Radio!"

"Is it any wonder that Commander Bunny is the MOST POPULAR PIRATE EVER! No other Pirate Operator has so many websites, so many blogs, so much attention, on them! FACE IT, Commander Bunny is the most popular Pirate ever, the facts are irrefutable."

--Commander Bunny, May 25, 2011

And there you have the Full and Complete EVIDENCE, dear readers. Are you Surprised? For so many years my Genius has labored to create so many characters, alter-egos, aliases and noms de guerre that at times I could scarce recall who I really am. But Commander Bunny did it ALL for YOU! For your Entertainment! And how do You repay him? With nasty rumors and slanders!

My heart aches with myxomatosis yet I must at last reconcile myself to you. To all of you nasty monkeys, with your slanders and rumors and gossiping, destroying the work of good pirates. And not merely good pirates but ME, the Greatest Pirate of them ALL!

In the end the only true Friends I could depend on were my oldest and closest allies who have stood firm with me sat neatly folded in my sock drawer, through many Trials and Tribulations: Beans. Mosby. Thumper. Bouncer. And GRENADE! Always Grenade. It sleeps under my pillow. At night it whispers to me Great Secrets. It reveals Mysteries that only I can hear. Camping knew nothing. Nothing! And if only you would Worship Me I would share all with you! I lavish you with Gifts, riches unheard of from any pirate in history! Real QSL cards, custom made for each program, not eQSLs with crappy art those other so-called "pirates" steal from the "internet" and slap on their logo and call That a QSL?!? Custom refrigerator magnets that also cure arthritis! T-shirts that will look sexy on your imaginary girlfriends! Bumper stickers to decorate your Big Wheels! But you BETRAY ME!!

But it's okay. It's okay. I pardon you...

"They cast a spell on you, you know, the monkeys. When you work closely with them, like I do, you see this. They have this power. It's like a virus. Some of my friends are infected with this virus. They should be pitied, not punished. They should receive treatment because this is as real as typhus. I see it all the time. It's a matter of QSLs? Hmm?"

So, while I am in such a magnanimous mood, I will permit some of you to forgive me for my transgressions.

AV: I know you didn't deserve the malicious treatment you got from me under my sockpuppet "Beans." And I made up that computer voice program blaming you for the July 4, 2008, computer voice broadcast that launched the pirate war. I guess we all died a little in that damn war.

Chris Smolinski: You were an okay guy. A little stuffy and pedantic at times. And you angered my friend Bill O. Rights. He's like Bruce Banner - you wouldn't like him when he's angry. Or green.

Radio Ga-Ga and Outhouse Radio: You guys are terrific pirates. And Outhouse got his cherry busted - how cool is that! He's got serious street cred now - I'm actually a little jealous... I might even have a tiny bunny-crush on the guy. It's just that damned SSTV... you don't know what it does to these sensitive rabbit ears. It's like pulling barbed wire through my skull. If you had ears like mine you'd understand. It made me crazy, so it's not my fault. But I'll accept your forgiveness because it takes a big bunny to admit when he's wrong.

Poet: We go back a long ways. BFF, right? Let's let bygones by bygones and I'll graciously accept your forgiveness if you promise to never play "Billy, Don't Be A Hero" ever again.

Al Fansome: Alas, poor Fansome. I knew him, Hare-atio. A fellow of infinite jest, of most excellent fancy. Well, before Kracker showed up around 2005 and behaved like Leo Gorcey with Asperger's Syndrome. He hath bored me with his backtalk a thousand times, and now how abhorr'd in my imagination it is! My gorge rises at it.

Doc John: Canadians just rub my hare the wrong way. Must be all that plaid and those toques. You guys always look like you're going hunting. Makes a bunny nervous. Tell me more about this Naughty Acrobatic Monkey Bunny Love Assignations. Maybe we can be friends.

And last but not least, Spore: Dude, I totally forgot *I* did that cut-up, mashup version of the WBNY pirate feud show. I get so confused between being Guise Faux and Commander Bunny, I completely forgot I'd mashed up and deconstructed my own audio. And I blamed it on you? My bad. So, uh... sorry about that whole "child molester" thing. No hard feelings, right? Is that a shotgun...? Hey, can we talk? How about a QSL package, on the house... hutch.... okay, I gotta scurry now, nice talking with you.

Whew! I feel a lot better after getting that off my chest and allowing all of you to forgive me for my occasional minor lapses from brilliance to mere competence.

And don't you all feel silly that I TOTALLY FOOLED ALL OF YOU S-T-U-P-I-D MONKEYS!!! Vote for me and you'll never be fooled again. I will do all of the thinking for you.

Now, if you'll all give me your home addresses I have some very special QSL packages of carrots for each and every one of you.

Your pal,
CB, aka Guise Faux, aka The Greatest! Because false modesty is unbecoming of the truly Great when it's truly true.

**(Update 31 May 2011: In a peculiar twist, CB redirected his WBNY site to ToRP blog as of Memorial Day weekend, see screencaps hare, hare and hare. Thanks for the additional traffic... I think? -- GF)

Video of the Right F**king Now: The Killer Rabbit of Caerbannog. He's got a vicious streak a mile wide!


  1. I'm going to nail my Commander Bunny T-shirt to a cross, and burn it on YouTube.

  2. i new it i new this was wrong from the begining this is the gretest spoof evar and ill never forgot it from the gretest pirate comander bunny i leik it alot this is profe!!!!


  3. Well-played, Bunny. Well-played.

  4. "Attention" does not equal "popularity" Bunny.

    For instance, we gave Adolf Hitler a lot of "attention".

  5. Gotta love how CB signs a second person comment to himself within his own blog. Oops!

    Guise - you just messing with my head again?

  6. So let me get this right . Guise Faux aka Cb started a very well written blog to point out that he is one of the biggest assholes ever to grace Pirate radio in North America. Does that sound right to you people? Cb can barely put his own blog together properly ,there are always pictures overlapping ,poor spelling ,etc. Then he magically transforms himself into a well versed writer of high standards to make himself look bad. Then he outs himself and apologizes to everyone in a humorous way .If I could reach out and slap anyone who actually fell for this I would,believe me.Surely you can see that Guise is just playing CB's game to make Cb look stupid for pulling this hair brained stunt. You have just witnessed the final Battle of the Bulge that CB could pull out of his ass and it's pathetic. Don't be falling for all this crap . See it for what it is ,a last ditch TROLL to save what useless scraps of his god awful career as a pirate.

    For crying out loud PopTart take some fucking spelling lessons !!!

  7. @Anon#2: For bunny's sake, don't burn that t-shirt! Those are holy relics for important sacraments! Also, it will camouflage you from zeds during the upcoming revised October 21 zombie apocalypse. Could Brother Camping be wrong three time?

    @DjPoptart: Thank you for your support. I herd u liek bunnies and this is profe.

  8. @Anon#5: Are you saying that just because someone who coincidentally is named "Commander Bunny" replied to Commander Bunny's blog that Commander Bunny is talking to himself? Whatever happened to faith? I mean, other than that little May 21st no-rapture incident...

  9. Lot's of Commander Bunny's out there. Back in '43 Pat Murphy and I were stationed in Burma with Wing Commander Bunny Stone.

  10. @Anon#7: Now that you mention it, Wing Commander "Bunny" Currant and Captain Peacock (Are You Being Served) could do one of those separated-at-birth photos. There are so many variations of Commander Bunny it's hard to know which one I'm not actually hearing when I warm up the old Zenith TransOceanic.

  11. Does that mean no FESTER part 3. I was really looking forward to some more self defacing humor. OH well . Oh by the way CB if you didn't like my comment above why don't you just claim that YOU wrote it ,as yet another troll to confuse das monkeys. I give you full permission. I mean you've gone this far why not go all the way.

  12. Part 3 of the four-part Fester trilogy was posted last month ("Fester, Part 3: Furpocalypse Now!"). Brown Nose the Pirate claims he's not drunk enough - yet - to remember how it ends.

  13. Let's face it; the rodent has lost control of the situation, and finds himself increasingly irrelevant. The FRN has likely lost most of its readership permanently because of the Joplin outage, and the increasing importance of the HFU means that the FRN is doomed to the dustheap of history, and with it, any interest in CB's increasingly shrill rantings. It's a good thing.

  14. Drink Harder !

  15. This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

  16. Test post... checking backward compatibility with old version of IE.

  17. Test post... checking browser compatibility.

  18. Note regarding the deleted May 27, 11:07 PM post: I was testing backward compatibility problem with other browsers and inadvertently deleted a post. If I'm recalling correctly it was a poke at Dj Poptart. While the insult wasn't all that awful, let's give the new kid a break while he sorts out his issues.

  19. "I am he as you are he and we are all together"

  20. Looks like Commander bunny decided to wipe the board clean and start at square one as far as his blog and all his bullshit is concerned. Very interesting move . What it means who knows . Guess we will see .

  21. Interesting indeed. I imagine that he is responding to the resounding lack of support he is receiving, which is to be expected. Maybe he is revisiting his "promise" to get back to the basics of pirate radio, which he, of course, was unable to keep.

    In any event, the best meaning to attach to CB's blog being wiped clean is that it's just that more Internet real estate that's been decontaminated of his toxic rants. Thank the government for the Superfund!

  22. Fansamastan at last!

  23. Well, we now know what it means. It means that CB has given up the fight, as indicated by his latest post on the FRN. He has apparently finally realized, as the saying goes, that this is a battle of wits, and he is completely unarmed. Pirate radio will be the better for his capitulation.

  24. Are you people completely stoned? He's got you talking about him in this thread, and everywhere else. He hasn't "capitulated" you idiot. He's won. Again. He's got you posting everywhere about him. He has completely screwed you over, and you're not bright enough to see it. No wonder he can screw with you time after time after time. What a bunch of morons.

  25. The WBNY blog is now redirecting to this one! LOL Guess he outwitted us there! Aw, shucks!

    He might as well, since he deleted almost all his content anyway.

  26. Now if we could only decontaminate the FRN, it might actually become useful again. Where's the website D-Con when you need it!

  27. I don't find the rabbit nearly as annoying as you nattering nabobs of negativity. Give it a rest for Gods sake. You girls need some cheese with all that whine?

  28. I thought you already outed me and I was in Brandon ? It's been hell ever since you did that CB. The phone has been ringing of the hook with people telling me I'm a bad monkey ,and how I shouldn't tease that nice bunny. I think I will have to move now and hang my head in shame.


    Funny how CB isn't erasing these comments I leave ,since that is so obviously what he does on the FRN. AS the BLOG owner he has full right to. But I guess he wants the evidence of how just and fair he is up on the blog to show he believes in Equality ,Fraternity ,and Liberty.

  29. No you're the stupid &%#@*, oh yes you are.May 30, 2011 at 5:25 PM

    You guys just can't let it go can you? How useless can your lives be to keep posting this crap? Who cares? Really, honestly, find a new hobby, this one has destroyed what little mind you have. NOBODY CARES!
    The fact that you keep posting this idiotic crap, 30 so far, is proof enough that HE WON! He keeps pulling your chain, and you keep responding. Moron.

  30. Hi, CB, nice of you to visit.

    'No you're the stupid &%#@*, oh yes you are' said: "You guys just can't let it go can you?"

    "NO U!" post = Maximum lulz density achieved.

  31. I was surprised at first how quickly CB gave up, but then I realized that, as old and worn out as he is there must be a lot of things he can't do anymore, if you know what I mean.

  32. Sounds like someone is jealous that they couldn't get 30 comments on their own blog-- without posting them all themselves.

    And, they made it 31.

  33. Hey you morons left out that Commander Bunny is behind the UFO/Area51/Alien/Freemason/Illuminati/Bilderberger Conspiracy. He's running the HAARP to "change the weather" so people will suffer. What kind of moron thinks HAARP has anything to do with the weather? Oh I know, a moron that blames Commander Bunny for everything. Commander Bunny does all this right after he runs the FRN, HFU, TCShortwave and this site and is putting the sign of the beast on newborns in Canada. You people are a bunch of raving lunatics if you believe any of this crap posted here!

  34. "Let it go"??? Don't be such an idiot; the whole point of this blog is to NOT let it go. It's here to make sure that the years of lies and sock puppetry finally get answered without having posts edited or deleted, and without being subjected to threats and attacks. No one is going to "Let it go".

  35. CB could have gone down as one of the most influential, if not the most influential, pirate operators in recent history. But being #1 wasn't enough, he had to go out of his way to destroy anyone who might be #2 through #10. The smear campaign of outright lies against NRS is an example of this, there are others.

    Was it really necessary CB? Why do you take a zero sum game view of the world?

  36. OMG, kracker's "anal wart" is just disgusting!

  37. Like I said, "want some cheese with all that whine"??? You're right, keep it up, every time you post something, it only makes CB even bigger and more famous than he was before. I like this new blog better than the old blog. Keep it up CB. You people are hilarious! 38 comments now. Makes it the most popular of all time. Please keep adding to his fame, this is fun to watch.

  38. What's even funnier is that the more comments we add, the less actual content this blog owner needs to generate.

    So who's really winning here? If we keep up this comment flame war, there will be no new ToRP to detract from the real bun's log.

    Another propaganda machine disabled.

    I know that if I was CB, I'd keep this flame war of comments going as long as I could, just so that GF won't write anything new. CB could get away with anything in the meantime just because no one is watching him, distracted by 40 comments to a post a week ago.

  39. @1:47 PM Anon: I'll be that made sense when you wrote it. I mean, before you clicked the "publish" thingie.

  40. Except that the "real" WBNY log redirects here, and everyone who used to follow the FRN for this kind of conflict now follows RP. The rest of the hobby is spending their time at HFU and at FreeRadioCafe, which is largely free of this crap.

    As the FRN sinks slowly in the west, I'd say that GF has done a great job of breaking the stranglehold that the FRN and the CB crowd had on pirate radio, even if he never makes another actual post. Thanks to Poet, too.

    And, adding that darned difficult word puzzle at the end of the posting window was a brilliant idea; it keeps most of the FRN rabble from commenting here. Well done!

  41. If nothing else, this blog and the TCS blog have been highly effective at one thing; completely removing the annoying nightmare that was Beans, Thumper, Mosby, et al. The absence of their (his) constantly berating voice(s) will advance this hobby further than it has been in years. Hooray! There is no mafia. It's just a man behind a curtain.

    Now that the light is starting to shine via blogs and free commentary, the man behind CB should just go back to basics by producing shows and enjoying the hobby. We don't intend to hold a grudge. We just want him to be a pirate. Nothing more.

    Most of us that have been around a while realize that the bunnyman thrives on conflict, so it will be no surprise if the comments go on for a while. Meanwhile, I'm confident that GF is working on the next chapter of pirate radio satire.

  42. Good Going Guise!

    Moar comments and controversy than Gizmodo on the eve of an Apple iToy release!

    Does this make RP "Famouse"?

    I hope so!

    Best Gossip Blog EVAR!

  43. Are these posts still rolling on?

    This jernt is a perfect example of why I gave up pirating and moved on to drinking bleach.

  44. Okay... Can someone please comment on the validity of this?


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