|From Radio Paranoia|
Dishing With Dea
Oh, piffle! Guise Faux, you are just the limit, mister! I was supposed to be on holiday until Monday next and here I am cleaning up another of your messes! And you get to dash off to exotic locales in Berserkistan and Isle de Merde.
'Tisn't fair and I shan't put up with it much longer! Oh, who am I fooling. I love my job and my dear readers.
My apologies, treasured readers, but ooohhh... I could just stamp my feet some days. And after Sycko's dubstep programme last night I might actually enjoy it. Haven't been dancing in ages, unless you count our little shuffles and twists here on Tales of Radio Paranoia.
And was that a WBNY relay of Sycko Radio last night? Had we been misinformed about that FCC encounter? If so, somebody spill, please. Either way, we are delighted to hear Sycko back on the air.
Speaking of WBNY, it seems Commander Bunny has sworn off sockpuppets. Seems he posted this confession on his website on May 13th. Then he mused about scratching a friend's back. Then he seemed confused, as always, about the concept of karma (Protip: It's not revenge). Then he had a change of heart and edited it and finally deleted it. Apparently some confusion over the concept of irony as well. And now today it appears to be all YOUR fault again**. Terribly difficult to know whom to blame when one's looking glass is crack'd. It's all rather huffy and puffy, so our readers are advised to take it all with a large dose of salts.
So, no more Beans, Mosby, Thumper, Bouncer and heaven knows what all. La-di-da, we suppose that's a good thing. We'll hold him to that promise... pinky-swear, now! Oh, wait... you haven't any pinkies. Silly rabbit.
As I pick through this mess of correspondence I see that just as CB has sworn off negativity on his website, he has appended some thoughtful words of encouragement to his recent programme announcements:
Deep Thoughts, by Commander Bunny
18 May 2011
"Why do all these slack-jawed, lip-droolers want to take all the fun out of Pirate Radio?"
10 May 2011
"Sorry, not going to get wrapped up into the drama being generated by some in the Pirate World... Let the little moron monkeys throw mud at each other."
16 May 2011
"P.S. look I've stayed clear of all the monkey-hub-bub going on, and intend on staying that way. Monkeys I considered friends attacking everyone, including me and sideline rock throwers who've never put a signal on the air, as far as anyone knows, making critiques of everyone elses efforts. Any of you monkeys ever wonder, if these apes are so fooking smart, why they haven't put the best pirate station you've ever heard on the air? The nastiness has risen to levels never before seen, and I'm staying as far away and clear of it as I can.
"Pirate Radio has always meant "FUN" and "Craziness" to me. But lately the
nasty, two-faced, butt-monkeys have over-run it with nothing but nastiness.
I really hope it doesn't drive monkeys away. Thanks to those of you who
have defended my honor and objected to the cowardly attacks made by
anonymous monkeys who have never risked anything to put a pirate signal on
Lovely sentiments. Breathtakingly inspirational. We concur wholeheartedly. And we are certain Doc John of NRS will be most relieved that Commander Bunny's hyperbolic "child molester" slander has been deleted from the WBNY website. However we still see it on CB's Facebook page... those references to some sort of Naughty Acrobatic Monkey Bunny Love Assignations... rather confusing. Yet also unexpectedly titillating.
Oh, yes, and you might consider patching things up with one of your oldest fans and friends, A.F., whom you wrongly blamed for those obviously incorrect accusations against a fellow pirate radio operator. Sysop logs for IRC #pirateradio showed nothing of the kind was ever written. And you were never on that channel and couldn't possibly have heard such a terrible thing, let alone from one of your staunchest supporters who has borne up manfully in your defence withal, despite your recent bout with myxomatosis. All in the spirit of avoiding those little nuisances you've mentioned in your recent correspondence, yes?
'Til next time, darlings, keep the ionosphere warm for us!
**From CeeBee's WBNY declaration of 19 May 2011:
"I WON’T PARTICIPATE IN THIS NASTY RUMOR-MONGERING AND HATE SPREADING.
Its gone on long enough. What I will do is make sure everyone on my mailing list knows who is really behind the lies, rumors and cowardly attacks. Everyone is going to know their real names, their real locations and have a complete portfolio on the nasty monkeys behind the destruction of Pirate Radio."
--Commander Bunny demonstrates ninja choke hold on irony
Video of the Right Now: Bugs Bunny sez - "Of course you know, this means war."
Dea Fauxnette is a sight-impaired but sharp-eared correspondent for Tales of Radio Paranoia. Don't try to sneak anything past her. She heard you coming before you got started.