WBNY's Murphy Hopes Stunt Boosts Liarbitron Ratings

"Until this moment... I think I have never really gauged your cruelty or your recklessness... You've done enough. Have you no sense of decency, sir? At long last, have you left no sense of decency?"
--Joseph N. Welch, to Senator Joseph McCarthy, June 9, 1954


"Don't overestimate the decency of the human race." --H. L. Mencken

by Pheme Ossa
Illustrations by Dea Fauxnette

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Schlock jock Pat Murphy & The Moaning Crude of WBNY - aka Commander Bunny and his sock drawer - upped the ante in his continuing bid for the top spot in the Liarbitron shortwave pirate radio ratings by taking out a full page ad in trade journals confessing to rampant sockpuppetry, misogyny and multiple personality disorder.

Coming on the heels of his Operation Misogyny campaign, launched October 20th to cyber-stalk and harass women in the shortwave radio hobby, Murphy said he hopes the new ad will secure his position as the Worst Fucking Human Being Ever to Key Up a Microphone. Recipients of that coveted lifetime achievement award include Tokyo Rose, Lord Haw-Haw, Axis Sally, Casey Kasem and Guy Fawkes.

"I know the competition is stiff," said Murphy. "I'm up against truly repugnant fellows like Pastor Peter J. Peters and Karol Madera (VE7KFM), who for the past decade has dominated the shortwave radio Liarbitron sweeps as the most loathsome man behind the mic. Those guys on the 14313 USB kHz splinter of the 20 meter band are incredibly prolific, admirably vile in a way I can only dream of, and crank out booming signals that can actually be heard world wide. I'm lucky if the feral cats in the rusted out trucks in my backyard can hear my 10 watt signal."

"But," he continued, "I'm confident in my support hose team of Beans, Mosby, Thumper, Bouncer, Bill O. Rights, Officious Pus Release, RF Burnz, lovemyradios, Winston, '2531', MIB, theguardianus, Bob Smith and a few other sleeper socks waiting to be involuntarily activated the next time my myxomatosis related dementia kicks in."

Murphy admits it will be very difficult to top Madera in terms of sheer hours on the mic and resilience. "Madera takes as well as he gives. He can absorb verbal punishment that makes me cringe," said Murphy. "I'm really a coward. I can't tolerate even the slightest hint of criticism and I'm incapable of discerning the difference between humour and insult. To compensate for being a paranoid pussy, I've developed a large posse of sockpuppets to support me when I'm incapable of mustering a rational argument or playing the dozens without starting to cry."

"I really believe my versatility in creating a complete cast of support hose characters is my strong suit," Murphy asserted, while speaking to sockpuppets on both of his hands. "Yes, yes, it is," agreed Beans.

"You're the greatest," assured Bill O. Rights, who was absently doodling the words "nasty", "bloggers", "ruining" and "fun" on a napkin. "Notes for my next dozen blog posts," he explained.

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"Did I use sockpuppets? Yes I did."
--Commander "Stockingstuffer" Bunny, 13 May 2011

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"Its one thing to be critical of another's work, but exposing them to an FCC bust is unforgivable. Shameful conduct," said Murphy. "So that's exactly what I'm going to do."

Murphy plans to tout his many pirate radio accomplishments in the upcoming ad campaign.

Under his many aliases and sockpuppets, the man in the Commander Bunny suit attempted to have authorities shut down a rival Canadian shortwave pirate station in 2011. In 2009, under his support-hose monikers Beans and Official Press Release, the Lagomurph baited another station operator into an argument and then publicly posted the fellow's home city. Murphy has been accused of informing against other pirates, most recently The Crystal Ship.

More recently a blogging blitz by the Virginia Bunnyman has enhanced his reputation as the most deranged broadcaster who isn't on the 75 meter or 20 meter bands.

"Why use a 'blog' to harm others?" wrote Murphy on his WBNY blog earlier this year. "Well... because it's damned fun! For me, at least."

Among his many accomplishments in pirate radio:

• Murphy garnered coveted firsties by repeatedly posting the actual address for John Poet of The Crystal Ship, even though that specific information was not on the FCC warning letter.
  
• Murphy perpetrated a blatant hoax to blame and frame a shortwave listener for the TCS bust, and continued his pitiable laughable insistence on the lie long after his hoax was revealed.
  
• He used his multiple sockpuppets to repeatedly slander perceived rivals and enemies as "pedophiles"- thus finally achieving his lifelong goal of becoming indistinguishable from Karol Madera (VE7KFM) and the cannibal hamsters who haunt 14313 USB.
• Recently the Bunnymurph insulted and harassed women shortwave radio fans who had nothing to do with Murphy's delusional, fabricated paranoid grievances - Gayle Van Horn (respected Monitoring Times magazine and Shortwave Central blog columnist) and Corq, a 133t DXer with mad skillz - characterizing one as "in-bred" and another as a "bitch", "bull dyke" and other colourful pejorative epithets that are sure to win over the next generation of women in radio.
  
• Murphy continues to misrepresent a 2008 automobile accident in which a West Virginia DXer was injured. According to law enforcement officials, the radio hobbyist known as Alex explained "I was trying to run over a rabid rabbit and lost control of the vehicle, nearly plunging off a bridge. The officers thanked me for at least wounding the critter." Deputies shot and killed the varmint which turned out to be one of the many deranged Virginia Bunnymen who haunt the hills in that region.
  

For all these achievements in the black arts of chicanery, generalized misanthropy with a specialty in misogyny, flagrant sockpuppetry with brazen disregard for the sound of facepalming heard 'round the world, unrepentant lying and nut-tucking that would make Scrat and Jame Gumb envious, Tales of Radio Paranoia offers best wishes to Pat Murphy in his continuing quest to secure a spot as The Worst Fucking Human Being Ever to Key Up a Microphone.

Tales of Radio Paranoia got a sneak peek at Murphy's
upcoming Liarbitron ratings blitz ad.

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Our intrepid rumours and graphics editor, Dea Fauxnette, is disGuising herself in a city of refuge whilst waiting for the current outbreak of mad-hare myxomatosis-driven cyber-stalking to run its course.

Correction 11/5/11: This article, written by Pheme Ossa, our Senior Women's Issues Correspondent, was originally incorrectly credited to Guise Faux. The attribution has been corrected. Our apologies to Ms. Ossa for the error.

The Radio Paranoia FUNnies are Back!

Sunday Funnies With Dea

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Happy Hallows Eve, Samhain, Guising and whatever else you pirates, anarchists, neopagans and trolls wish to celebrate! We haven't done Sunday Funnies for awhile. Let us see how our new ParanoiDroid smartypants phone fares with this sort of nonsense.

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Our intrepid rumours and graphics editor, Dea Fauxnette, is Guising in a city of refuge whilst waiting for the current outbreak of fatal mad-hare myxomatosis to run its course.

MURPHY TO NEW.NEWS

From Radio Paranoia

Dishing With Dea

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How in heaven's name did Funny Bunny discover we are a "she"? * We were ever so careful to keep that our little secret. We even swore like a bowlegged sailor, which, we can assure you one and all, is completely uncharacteristic for moi.

Did one of our treasured readers tell our little secret, hmm? Oh, we are so miffed we could stamp our feet!

Okay, we're over it.

In three bunny-blurt-blogs on the 20th alone - with many revisions - the paranoid narcissistic Lagomurph said (now, treasured readers, you must imagine the Virginia Bunnyman speaking in a very cross voice)...

"Harrumph, I know who you are and I'm very cross about this and I shan't put up any longer with your impertinence and if you insist on continuing down this path I shall be forced to say naughty things about you on the internet and on the radio and on refrigerator magnets! And I shall do so in VERY CROSS ALLCAPS with Exclamation!!! Marks!!! Aplenty!!!"

Signed, very truly yours, etc., etc.,
Commander Bunny Commode Lid Unfunny
Greatest Pirate of Them All

Of course we nearly missed all the excitement as we were on holiday. We began in September with a lovely drive through Murphy, NC, en route to our snug Umbrage Island cabin up north of the border in Manitou Province.

Whilst passing through dreary Hampton Roads, VA, we spotted a most peculiar sight on a residential thoroughfare in Newport News: A desperate looking fellow wearing a rather frayed hareshirt and, around his bum, cloth nappies that appeared soiled. He was wandering aimlessly around the middle of the road and as we slowed to see if the fellow needed medical or psychiatric assistance, he fetched something from his nappies and thrust it towards us, bellowing "Have a WBNY QSL package!"

With that the odiferous fellow tossed the horrible thing into our car. Astonished, we realised it was a small rodent with its rear legs missing. As we snapped a piccy, the horrible lout picked a tiny, bloody rodent's foot from his teeth and leered "Want me to sign it for you?"

He cackled and scampered away towards a corner street sign where he pulled what appeared to be an Oompa Loompa from his nappies, and yelled something about "Crackers!" at the creature. The two flailed around and stuck something to the sign and, having accomplished that, the hareshirted fellow jammed the Oompa Loompa back into his diaper. After the vagabond scuttled away a safe distance we approached the sign to see what he had done.

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Latitude:37.11206°
Longitude:-76.527058°

(Photo URL for metadata.)

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"Read it to me," I asked (as you know, my eyesight is not terribly good).

Guise snapped another piccy, this one with his iPhone. He held the screen towards me and said "STOP Commander Bunny."

"A very sensible plan," I said.


We continued northwards to Umbrage Island, with stops along the way to visit old chums. Quite pleasant, all in all, but possibly our last visit until next summer, as neither of us enjoys the winters.

And since we brought the diminutive Panasonic RF-B65 along, we were able to enjoy some first rate shortwave free radio entertainment from a few stations, including an oh-so-amusing new programme from our friend the Poet of The Crystal Ship, courtesy of his well organized network of relay stations. Well done, fellows!

On the way back this past week, curiosity got the better of us and we detoured to Newport News once again to check on the eccentric hareshirted vagabond. We didn't see him. But we did notice an alteration to the stop sign we'd photographed weeks earlier: Another sticker, this one with something about "Commander Bunny: FCC Snitch."


Since Guise enjoys dabbling in geocaching we snapped another piccy with the iPhone, which has this clever thingie that records GPS coordinates in the metadata. Makes it ever so much easier to share our travels with others.

It provides a nice map of the geographic coordinates for each photo. If you're a clever person you can view the metadata and map here, here, or here. Copy the actual photo URL and paste it into an appropriate metadata reader - great fun if you enjoy sharing travel routes through your holiday snaps with your friends on sites that can make use of such metadata.

That Steve Jobs was a clever fellow. I'd give him a big hug... well, if he were still alive.

Latitude:37.11206° Longitude:-76.527058°

We are sooo looking forward to those promised memorabilia from the Lagomurph. He's spending a small fortune on gifts to honour his favourite bloggers, Poet of TCS and moi. We do hope to receive a hare package... after the parcel has navigated our network of seven post boxxies. No personal visits, please, at least not until Funny Bunny is back on his regimen of Haredol and Rabbilify to quell his multiple personality disorder.


*Commander Murphy is, of course, insane, implying those connections, or any variation thereof. But why let that stand in his way when he's busy alienating everyone in the shortwave listening hobby whilst simultaneously trashing his own reputation and demonstrating the need for a human vaccine against myxomatosis.

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Dea Fauxnette is a sight-impaired but sharp-eared correspondent for Tales of Radio Paranoia. Don't try to sneak anything past her. She heard you coming before you got started.

Happy Belated "Talk Like A Pirate Day"!

From Radio Paranoia

Dishing With Dea

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Treasured readers, your radio Pheme can scarcely believe Guise Faux forgot "Talk Like A Pirate Day"! Heavens to hares, had we not just returned from a lovely summer holiday on Manitou Island, all might be lost.

We'll make this short but sweet, darlings, because it doesn't take a clutter of random images off the internet and a spittalion of blurt-bunny rabbit-rants to make a point.

To talk like a pirate, all you need do is declaim as loudly and as often as you may... "YOU'RE RUINING PIRATE RADIO!"


Now then, darling bunnyman, simply click your little rear paws together three times, then lather, rinse and repeat until it finally seems true... to you, and to Noone else.



'Til next time, darlings, pray for sunspots. Pray! you heathens, pray harder!

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Dea Fauxnette is a sight-impaired but sharp-eared correspondent for Tales of Radio Paranoia. Don't try to sneak anything past her. She heard you coming before you got started.

Pull Up Your Shorts! June Gossip

From Radio Paranoia

Dishing With Dea

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When Guise Faux barked "Pull up your shorts!" I hadn't a clue he meant the long overdue RP update. Since mid-June your radio Pheme has been dodging enormous mosquitoes on holiday to our lovely Manitou Island summer lodge, followed by a hectic tour de furs of the dance floor at Anthrocon (about which moar l8r).

So, still holiday-lagged, we assumed for an unpleasant moment GF was referring to another of those sordid Weiner tales. However he meant tidbits of gossip. Well, treasured readers, that we can do.

So, here goes nothing. How about these shorts, eh, gnomes?
Happy Canada Day, li'l fellah.

















Pirates Week in dry dock for repairs
American pirate scene veteran and documentarian extraordinaire, Ragnar Daneskjold announced 23 June 2011 that he was taking an indefinite hiatus from his weekly PiratesWeek podcast, citing recurring bouts with tendonitis. Without mentioning any specifics he did hold out the possibility of a return, possibly with a revamped format, for the podcast which has documented the international free radio scene since 2005. This is probably as good a time as any for a respite as HF propagation has been quite poor this year and there has been less shortwave pirate activity about which to report.

Our sincere thanks to Ragnar for his excellent programmes, and our very best wishes for a recovery. And we're a mite jealous of his productivity. We can barely manage to roll out of bed by noon, never mind producing a 30 minute programme nearly every week.

DMCA suit reinstated against NJ radio shock jocks
We noticed this on our radio news feed recently whilst looking for DMCA issues regarding the reuse of music and audio. Nevertheless it does point to certain issues that may have a chilling effect on the nebulous concept of free speech in radio and the internet. At the same time there are valid concerns by the copyright holder/plaintiff involved in this case, as well as issues regarding slander, defamation and alleged damage to his livelihood.

"Copyright, Defamation Suit Reinstated Against N.J. 'Shock Jocks'"
"...(District Judge Joel) Pisano was too quick to dismiss the defamation claim, which alleged that (Craig) Carton and (Ray) Rossi spent 45 minutes on their radio show bashing (photographer Peter) Murphy, impugning his personal integrity, calling him "a man not to be trusted" in business dealings and suggesting he is gay."

"Fuentes said the claim should not have been dismissed before Murphy deposed Carton and Rossi, and further that Pisano was wrong to deny Murphy's motion to extend discovery, given the station's destruction of its recordings of the program a few days after it aired."

Note that the duo are no strangers to controversy, but apparently are strangers to irony. In 2007 Carton and Rossi said they felt threatened by free speech from a police spokesman, in response to the radio pair's criticism of the police department.

From The Radio Equalizer blog
05 May 2007
"Jersey Guys Yanked, Union Threats, 101.5 FM, Talk Radio"
"According to several news reports in the Garden State, after New Jersey 101.5 FM talkers Craig Carton and Ray Rossi exposed a potential "ticket blitz" scheme, police union officials went nuts, making threats and revealing Carton's home address and license plate number on television news programs."

"The station issued a statement saying "this form of intimidation and extortion is reprehensible.''"

One wonders what the courts might make of some of the various furballs hacked up by certain U.S. pirates over the past couple of years, along with similar slanders amongst hamster cannibals on 14275 and 14313 kHz. Oh, wait, this is HF radio, aka, shite nobody cares about. Never mind, darlings.

Speaking of which, we note the on again/off again kiss-and-kick affair between EE and K on IRC and the FRN seems to be... well, we don't quite know how to put it. It's certainly melodrama worthy of popcorn tossing. Guise Faux promises/threatens an upcoming blog article retrospective of the Summer 2008 pirate war and its fallout over the past three years. Foolish fellow, can't seem to let well enough alone.

Apparently as well the Frantic Rascal's Nuthouse brief flirtation with a new forum layout didn't last. The puzzling Coronary Mess Ejaculations forum headed by Kracker seems to have vanished as quickly as Anthony Weiner's career. And it appears Captain Ganja has taken on the unenviable chore of cat herding. We hope his humour and stash survive the ordeal.

Anthrocon 2011
Your radio Pheme followed our Manitou Island holiday with an absolutely insane tour de furs of the dance floor at Anthrocon in Pittsburgh and, boy... are my arms furry. Had a smashing time. Literally. I was smashing into everything and everyone. Well, almost... didn't see Boomer but then, I wouldn't, would I! I'm quite blind, you see, and Guise Faux wouldn't play the part of my seeing-eye person this year. Spoilsport.

On the crowds and lodging shortage, a fellow was quoted as saying "Many furry fans are already bunking four to a room -- the Westin's limit." We're not certain whether he meant that's a bad thing.

Fursonally, I believe my costume should have won, but some fellow snatched away my trophy and microphone to award the grand prize to his own favourite rabbit. Who knew Kanye West was not only a furry but a Commander Bunny devotee? I suppose we can forgive him.

Pirate dad embarrasses son at bus stop
(An explanation would only spoil the surprise.)

"I hope this lives with him for the rest of his life," Price said. "He can use it against his kids and tell them, 'If you think you are embarrassed by me, you should have seen your grandfather.'" -- The Pirate's Final Goodbye

'Til next time, darlings, pray for sunspots. Pray! you heathens, pray harder!

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Click for 24-hour bandscan waterfall graphic for 6800-7000 kHz spectrum, 13 June 2011. Note WYFR was still active on 6915 and 6985 as of that bandscan, but appears to be less active as of 1 July 2011. ALE, CW and other data comms still noted.

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Dea Fauxnette is a sight-impaired but sharp-eared correspondent for Tales of Radio Paranoia. Don't try to sneak anything past her. She heard you coming before you got started.

Dishing With Dea: Lightning Strikes Weiner

From Radio Paranoia

Dishing With Dea

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Only time for bits and pieces, darlings! Like the White Rabbit, I'm late!

Bad Andy sez he's pulling his web info and YouTube videos related to the Corsair. Cites "FCC moles" lurking on "blogs" or some such trifle. Honestly! As Guise Faux all-too-often reminds the RP staff, we're trolls, not moles. There's a difference, darlings.

On the one paw, sounds to us like pouting. On the other paw, BA has worked quite hard to master his craft and he's earned the right to share the information with, or withhold it from, whomever he pleases. Such is genuine anarchy, which we support. Meanwhile, the rest of you rascals had better copy those schematics and videos whilst you may. (GF hints he'd actually buy a Corsair if BA offered one for sale, but I advised him to not hold his breath. He hasn't done much to court their favour. Besides, he's quite ghastly when he turns blue.)

John Lightning of Radio NewYork International exclaimed Sunday he'd finally found a Weiner he could mangle without fear of retaliation. We're not certain we wish to know any more details. Should you, and assuming you missed his live programme on WBCQ's Area 51 block Sunday night, the audio file should be available soon. JL is quite the card. Perhaps we at RP are too thick in the skull and skin to be offended by his comments, as some are. Why, look! He even managed to persuade some celebrity or politician to pose for a promotional photograph!

Continuing 24 hour bandscans to check for apparent skeds of utes indicate a continuing risk of QRMing various official comms between 6900-7000. We'll try to post an updated bandscan soon. Meanwhile the mid-May scan is available here.

Is Prime Minister Palpatine blaming blogs for the decrease in pirate radio activity? Or is he crediting a spike in blogging to the non-existent propagation? One never quite knows with the Empire. Quite a challenge to interpret it.

And, in response to some helpful information and links from "phlegm" on the FRN, including a link to a map to show locations of FCC monitoring stations, derived from Google maps, the Prime Minister sez:

"You won't find this kind of stuff anywhere else (unless they steal the links)." -- The Prime Minister

Well... perhaps. Unless KC2DWQ (aka "Dr. Who" - no, not the MAC one; the Tardis chap) took a time machine trip back to March 2009 to post the same info on QRZ. Darn those nibbly hamsters, always gnawing content retroactively from the Fabulous One's hutch. (http://forums.qrz.com/archive/index.php/t-197218.html)

We also note the PM keeps referring to unspecified "internet sensations" and "haters" and longs for the good old days. And don't we all. If only he'd been more successful in employing his considerable expertise in diplomacy to influence CB and His Hareness's sock drawer to turn down the angst volume from a deafening 11 to a merely brain-numbing 7 or so.

Rumour has it Commander Bunny sez he's scurrying back down the rabbit hole until wabbit season is over. We're actually rather sorry to hear that. We do enjoy his programmes. Oh, well, if we must we suppose we'll go back to scraping content from the bountiful supply of other kooky radio personalities for amusement. Between Alex Jones lamenting the current Bilderbergers Swiss soiree and Glenn Beck's usual leaky tear ducts there's enough melodrama to go through a skid load of tissues a week.

Another shortwave pirate "bust," this one a Colorado beacon. Per the Fabulous Rabbit Nestlings:

"A number of months ago a 20-30mw Pirate beacon was busted by the FCC it was the famous ECHO beacon on 11002khz...location was in Colorado.

"The FCC agent who was very kind said the monitoring Station in Maryland picked up the beacon...there was no complaint filed..."

'Til next time, darlings, pray for sunspots. Or sacrifice whatever harmless, innocent creature you fancy on the upcoming Summer Solstice. We plan to offer a couple of liters of Denali Moose Tracks on the miniature Antennahenge in our garden.

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Dea Fauxnette is a sight-impaired but sharp-eared correspondent for Tales of Radio Paranoia. Don't try to sneak anything past her. She heard you coming before you got started.

Barefoot bunny is happy bunny!

From Radio Paranoia

Dishing With Dea

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Oh, piffle! Guise Faux, you are just the limit, mister! I was supposed to be on holiday until Monday next and here I am cleaning up another of your messes! And you get to dash off to exotic locales in Berserkistan and Isle de Merde.

'Tisn't fair and I shan't put up with it much longer! Oh, who am I fooling. I love my job and my dear readers.

My apologies, treasured readers, but ooohhh... I could just stamp my feet some days. And after Sycko's dubstep programme last night I might actually enjoy it. Haven't been dancing in ages, unless you count our little shuffles and twists here on Tales of Radio Paranoia.

And was that a WBNY relay of Sycko Radio last night? Had we been misinformed about that FCC encounter? If so, somebody spill, please. Either way, we are delighted to hear Sycko back on the air.

Speaking of WBNY, it seems Commander Bunny has sworn off sockpuppets. Seems he posted this confession on his website on May 13th. Then he mused about scratching a friend's back. Then he seemed confused, as always, about the concept of karma (Protip: It's not revenge). Then he had a change of heart and edited it and finally deleted it. Apparently some confusion over the concept of irony as well. And now today it appears to be all YOUR fault again**. Terribly difficult to know whom to blame when one's looking glass is crack'd. It's all rather huffy and puffy, so our readers are advised to take it all with a large dose of salts.

So, no more Beans, Mosby, Thumper, Bouncer and heaven knows what all. La-di-da, we suppose that's a good thing. We'll hold him to that promise... pinky-swear, now! Oh, wait... you haven't any pinkies. Silly rabbit.

As I pick through this mess of correspondence I see that just as CB has sworn off negativity on his website, he has appended some thoughtful words of encouragement to his recent programme announcements:

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Deep Thoughts, by Commander Bunny
18 May 2011
"Why do all these slack-jawed, lip-droolers want to take all the fun out of Pirate Radio?"

10 May 2011
"Sorry, not going to get wrapped up into the drama being generated by some in the Pirate World... Let the little moron monkeys throw mud at each other."

16 May 2011
"P.S. look I've stayed clear of all the monkey-hub-bub going on, and intend on staying that way. Monkeys I considered friends attacking everyone, including me and sideline rock throwers who've never put a signal on the air, as far as anyone knows, making critiques of everyone elses efforts. Any of you monkeys ever wonder, if these apes are so fooking smart, why they haven't put the best pirate station you've ever heard on the air? The nastiness has risen to levels never before seen, and I'm staying as far away and clear of it as I can.

"Pirate Radio has always meant "FUN" and "Craziness" to me. But lately the
nasty, two-faced, butt-monkeys have over-run it with nothing but nastiness.
I really hope it doesn't drive monkeys away. Thanks to those of you who
have defended my honor and objected to the cowardly attacks made by
anonymous monkeys who have never risked anything to put a pirate signal on
the air."

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Lovely sentiments. Breathtakingly inspirational. We concur wholeheartedly. And we are certain Doc John of NRS will be most relieved that Commander Bunny's hyperbolic "child molester" slander has been deleted from the WBNY website. However we still see it on CB's Facebook page... those references to some sort of Naughty Acrobatic Monkey Bunny Love Assignations... rather confusing. Yet also unexpectedly titillating.

Oh, yes, and you might consider patching things up with one of your oldest fans and friends, A.F., whom you wrongly blamed for those obviously incorrect accusations against a fellow pirate radio operator. Sysop logs for IRC #pirateradio showed nothing of the kind was ever written. And you were never on that channel and couldn't possibly have heard such a terrible thing, let alone from one of your staunchest supporters who has borne up manfully in your defence withal, despite your recent bout with myxomatosis. All in the spirit of avoiding those little nuisances you've mentioned in your recent correspondence, yes?

'Til next time, darlings, keep the ionosphere warm for us!

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**From CeeBee's WBNY declaration of 19 May 2011:

"I WON’T PARTICIPATE IN THIS NASTY RUMOR-MONGERING AND HATE SPREADING.
Its gone on long enough. What I will do is make sure everyone on my mailing list knows who is really behind the lies, rumors and cowardly attacks. Everyone is going to know their real names, their real locations and have a complete portfolio on the nasty monkeys behind the destruction of Pirate Radio."
--Commander Bunny demonstrates ninja choke hold on irony

Video of the Right Now: Bugs Bunny sez - "Of course you know, this means war."

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Dea Fauxnette is a sight-impaired but sharp-eared correspondent for Tales of Radio Paranoia. Don't try to sneak anything past her. She heard you coming before you got started.

Sunday Funnies - Princess Deatrice style!

Guise Faux has yet to return from setting up a new station in Berserkistan. Our own Princess Deatrice posts the Sunday Funnies from the UK where she's celebrating the Royal Wedding.

Doesn't her hat look lovely!

Say it, bitches... her hat looks lovely! Don't make us Morris Dance on your ass, 'cuz we'll do it.

Sunday Funnies with Princess Deatrice

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Hello, Darlings! We could scarcely break away from champagne, endless parties with the Royals and snoggling with our dearest heart, Gwynplaine. He's not much to look at, I'm told, and such a joker, but what do I care... I'm quite blindly in love!

But duty calls and Father Poet tells us that our good friend Kracker wishes all to realize that "bitches don't know 'bout his 1337 h4xx0r skilz". We have no earthly idea at all what that means. But we're told that ever since Kracker snitched out another pirate while having a tantrum during the infamouse Summer 2008 pirate war, he's become quite repentant and developed a sense of humour and humility about himself. Well done, good sir! This week's Sunday Funnies are dedicated to Kracker, a true madman of the airwaves and never more deserving than now of this special Tale of Radio Paranoia.

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kracker said...

"goof ball... why escalate schit, this makes you of a higher caliber? Try actually thinking about it man, whats this prove? I had hoped you were more intelligent than this. Son, I am disappoint very disappointed. so you gonna take me on too? You gonna beat everyone up in cyber space? guess what man just because you win a gold medal in the special Olympics doesn't mean a retart is me your no longer retarded. Because thats exactly what cyber piddeling is, now if you want to play hard ball lets hack each others sites.. That will really prove something.. Good day"

April 29, 2011 8:02 PM

From: The Crystal Ship blog

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He's even famouse on /b/...

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Blog of the Now: Princess Beatrice's Hat!

Subtle, nuanced wit of the Now: PMLOL.com (If only we could be half as amusing... oh, yes, we already are.)

Dishing With Dea: April gossip galore!

From Radio Paranoia

Dishing With Dea

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Hello, darlings! Guise has left me to my own devices while he dashes off to Berserkistan or some such place to advise a new programme director on news coverage of recent unpleasantness. Seems they've lost their last three to abduction, firebombing and defection to comparative safety in Libya. Must keep things in perspective, mustn't we?

And that naughty Brownie is late again with his "Fester" finale. Something about on a tout essayé. But, honestly, darlings, we very much doubt he's tried everything. We saw him pass up a chance at a liaison with the cutest Siamese twins - acrobats! no less, formerly of Cirque du Soleil - while carousing with Fifi in Marseille. Oh, that Fifi. She shows up in the oddest places. (Often in the arms of ravishing women, so we hear! Shhh...)

Meanwhile, we'll share a few snippets that have come across the wire since last we dished with you.

According to GH of DXLD (11-16, 20 Apr 2011), AB reports a confirmation that our dear friend at WEAK was indeed knocked up by the FCC this February last. All confirmed by Ragnar's podcast as well. We'd already heard it through the vines almost immediately, all very hush-hush you know, and kept quite mum 'til it was resolved. Apparently just a verbal warning, no NAL, and we're glad of that. Still, he's done and we're quite shattered by the whole affair. He was (and still is) a true blue friend of free radio and shall be missed.

Speaking of which, do we sense the devious hands of K in this recent piquant bit of humour on memegenerator.net? Seems some rascal is trying to make AB famouse, hmm? Alas, memgen is down at the moment, apparently a mudkip infection, but we did capture a hint from Google. If any of our treasured readers manages to snare a copy of the "Courage Dwight" variation for AB, please do share!

And speaking of famouse, we're told that naughty K inadvertently made an owie when he made an outie of another pirate during the summer 2008 pirate war! Yes, indeed, apparently in his state of miff and hiiiggghhh spirits he exposed another operator by real name and address? No!?! Li'l Dea, say it isn't so! Yesss, darlings, per AB, an audio recording has K ranting about having access to real names and home addresses obtained from an ebay shipping list for CB memorabilia, during which fit of pique he exposed another pirate. We certainly hope it's all a terrible misunderstanding. When we know more, so shall you, dear ones. Meanwhile, K, take heed the words of Falstaff, himself a sometime carouser and braggart: The better part of valor is discretion. One never knows for certain who is a fellow airwave buccaneer, so...

Finally, dear ones, our sources at Fabulous Rabbit Neverland tell us that CB promises to swear off his addiction to dirty socks, but implores please-please-puhLEEZ don't blame LW or PM for his misdeeds. Well, Dea is nothing if not forgiving and oh-so understanding of creative geniuses. Little long-eared maniac, we still adore you. Now, scurry off to the vet for your myxomatosis booster before we change our minds.

'Til next time, darlings, keep the ionosphere warm for us!

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Dea Fauxnette is a sight-impaired but sharp-eared correspondent for Tales of Radio Paranoia. Don't try to sneak anything past her. She heard you coming before you got started.

Radio Paranoia Sunday Funnies

Guise Faux is snoozing late. Our own li'l Dea Fauxnette is posting today's column. She doesn't see too well so pretend these are good, m'kay?






Tales of Radio Paranoia Sunday Funnies

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This one goes out to father Poet. Testify, Father, testify! Darn those socks!

(With apologies to John Cox for our remix of his original cartoon. Darned pirates. No respect for copyrights.)

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This one's for Ragnar, who seems like a dog person. No good deed goes unpunished, buddy!

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And last but not least, for Peerless Leader himself. There's no bawwwness like show bawwwness.

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L'il Dea ain't no h8r, who luvs ya baybee, c u l8r!