Tuesday, August 28, 2012

Top Ten Coolest Pirate Deaths













by RADIO GOD Nero Domingo,
former Washington DC talk jock
Illustration by Indoor Gnome

In recent weeks we've been informed that Commander Murphy or Pat Bunny have/has-been implying he/they possesses deadly multiple fursonality disorder sniper powers and his enemies should quake in fear of his myxomatosis infected spittle mad skills.

  (That is, when he wasn't busy under his Robert W. Smith and other aliases
fondling Dave Hughes' nutsack trolling DCRTV's mailbag. Info per DCRTV insiders.)

At least, that's how the Virginia Bunnyman's aides-de-camp nuthuggers described it.  However, we know the Bunnyman all too well.  (For instance, we know what he carried in that briefcase at WROV - spare bunched panties.  He wears 'em all the time, especially while blogging.)  After examining the data and video evidence, what we observed more closely resembled an America's Funniest Video segment in which a fat guy trips over his manboobs, looses his balance and flounders along at full gallop for 50 yards, arms flailing wildly, before finally belly-flopping onto a meadow muffin.

(Presumably the Lagomurph will claim he meant to do that to get steadier aim with his Nerf gun. --GF)

And since Commander Buttmunch seems awfully obsessed with the topic these days, that got us to wondering, which would be the coolest and least cool ways for a pirate to die?  We propose the following...

Coolest ways for pirates to die:

  1. Keelhauling
  2. Flogging
  3. Yardarm lynching
  4. Blunderbussing
  5. Cutlassing
  6. Beard fire burns
  7. Scurvy
  8. Shark
  9. Spear
  10. Electrocuted while performing 440v 3-phase mod


Least cool ways for pirates to die:

  1. Head shots by Navy SEAL snipers
  2. Poop decked
  3. Myxomatosis
  4. Auto-erotic asphyxiation while wearing bunny suit
  5. Snitching to FCC
  6. Strangling on own sockpuppets
  7. Giant ghost pirate sock monkeys
  8. h4xx0rd
  9. Tiger.  Fucking tiger.  Never get outta the boat.
  10. And the least cool way of all... Murph-Nerfed
Fear the Murph-Nerf!!!

68 comments:

  1. Is there room on those stop signs for a "Fear the Murph-Nerf" sticker?

    I think so.

    ReplyDelete
  2. I think Shakespeare said it best concerning Commander Murphy, the Snitch Puppet King: "Cowards die many times before their deaths; The valiant never taste of death but once."
    So, one has to ask which number death the self-loathing blogging "personality" known as the Sock Puppet Master is working on.

    ReplyDelete
  3. I hope it's not Robert Smith. The Cure rule!

    ReplyDelete
  4. You left out "crushed by stacks of unwanted WBNY QSL cards"

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Shouldn't that read "crushed by stacks of unwanted homoerotic WBNY QSL cards"? According to inside sources, they may not be as unwanted as people think since they're being used as currency in east coast low and medium security prisons.

      Delete
  5. "Tertium Quids posted a link to an amusing blog by Pat Murphy entitled “REPUBLICAN BLOGGERS DRINKING THE KOOL-AID“. I must say I was not familiar with Murphy, but I did get a chuckle out of his post. Not that I found his thuggish “wit” amusing, I did not! He comes off with all the charm and refinement of a school yard bully. What I find amusing is that he seems to think he has all the answers, but offers no solutions, only taunting criticism."

    Pat Murphy Tells It Like It Is?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Tom White (www.varight.com) is a right wing shill for the Rebublicrap Party, and is a prime example of all that's wrong with a huge segment of the population of this country. He regurgitate all the extremist garbage associated with the likes of the "Tea Party" and their associated uneducated, science denying ilk. No one should take him, his web site, or any of his opinions seriously.

      Delete
    2. Ah, that brings back lulzy memories of daze gone by. The summer of 2009 was when Pat Murphy had a hissy fit over opinions opposing his Virginia News Source blog on regional political issues.

      That summer dispute marked the turning point when Murphy turned his rage inward and went full-time cannibal on the pirate scene. The Autumn of 2009 marked the beginning of the Fall of the Bunnyman. He attacked at least three pirate ops that summer and fall, including trying to expose the location of one on the FRN.

      It'll take an entire blog article with references to those VNS disputes to illustrate the connection.

      Delete
    3. Man of the Hour Guise Faux said: It'll take an entire blog article with references to those VNS disputes to illustrate the connection.

      We'll wait. We all get a laugh at Jerry Murphy Graves' senile dementia. People with "terminal cancer" are always hilarious! Especially when that "cancer" is just assholity. NOTHING is funnier than watching a geriatric zoophile (aka 'furry') burn to the ground. Those rabbit suits are as flammable as California.

      Delete
    4. Just because Tom White may be a right-wing schill, does not mean that he is necessarily a poor judge of character. His assessment of Murphy looks spot-on from here. Somewhat understated, if anything.

      Delete
    5. i herd the cure in the grocery store to days ago
      tom white sucks exept for in that mystery man movie where hes the mad scientiss made guns and stuff what aint lethal and the tornado in the can
      that was a cool movie
      i am a pirate radio to and we talk about the comander bunny war all the time he is a dushbag AND IS RUNING PIRATE RADIO!!!!!!!1!

      Delete
  6. Actually, it all started when Poet started making posts on the frn about his smelly underwear, which I deleted immediately. This made him very angry and he started posting posts that called me a liar which I deleted. After I deleted his posts that were complaining about other posts that had been deleted by people whose accounts I deleted, he deleted some of his own posts that showed that was in favor of deleting posts other than posts that were in favor of the deletion of posts, which he denied in a post that I later deleted. As you can see now the frn has one post remaining and it was made by me and I deleted all the other responses that were complaining about the deleted posts and of course the accounts were deleted too.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Actually, it all started when Poet started making posts on the frn about his smelly underwear, which I baleeted immediately. This made him very angry and he started posting posts that called me a liar which I baleeted. After I baleeted his posts that were complaining about other posts that had been baleeted by people whose accounts I baleeted, he baleeted some of his own posts that showed that was in favor of baleeting posts other than posts that were in favor of the baleetion of posts, which he denied in a post that I later baleeted. As you can see now the frn has one post remaining and it was made by me and I baleeted all the other responses that were complaining about the baleeted posts and of course the accounts were baleeted too.

      Delete
    2. Actually, it all started when Poet started making posts on the frn about his smelly underwear, which I ******ed immediately. This made him very angry and he started posting posts that called me a liar which I ******ed. After I ******ed his posts that were complaining about other posts that had been ******ed by people whose accounts I ******ed, he ******ed some of his own posts that showed that was in favor of ******ing posts other than posts that were in favor of the ******ion of posts, which he denied in a post that I later ******ed. As you can see now the frn has one post remaining and it was made by me and I ******ed all the other responses that were complaining about the ******ed posts and of course the accounts were ******ed too.

      Delete
  7. This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. ADMIN NOTE: THE ABOVE (BALEETED BY GARGLE+) COMMENT WAS NOT ******ED BY (BALEETED BY GARGLE+).

      Delete
  8. I do not own any smelly underwear.



    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Marjory Stewart-BaxterSeptember 1, 2012 at 10:43 PM

      I have a smelly WBNY QSL t-shirt. It smells of cecotropes and tastes of soot and poo.

      Delete
    2. i thought you bought a t shirt
      damn things got bunny sqeezins on them
      fooktard bunny keeps trying to fook my goats

      Delete
  9. I bought some real Salad Fingers the other day. They are things of beauty.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. After paying Kracker a compliment on her barely literate speech Tuesday night at the Republican National Convention, liberal WBNY host Pat Murphy went berserk about JTA's appearance at the end of Kracker's speech.
      Murphy — who had a more visible outburst Monday morning on the FRN — went on a diatribe about how he thought Kracker's attempt to "humanize" her husband were thrown off by JTA's weird appearance, in which he and Kracker shared a kiss on stage.
      "But then he came out at the end," Murphy said, after saying Kracker gave a "good speech." 
      "And he almost looked like he came out on wheels, like he's not really JTA. That person who came out there like that, almost a statue of a person. His odd animation — his odd lack of animation. The way he moved in the room at the end was strange. She's a real person, but she really advertised a Mr.-Ruining-Pirate-Radio."
      Murphy went on to call JTA a "conehead who doesn't seem like an Earthling." And, "a rather wooden-like figure." 
      In a different segment, he said JTA "looked like Prince Charles visiting New Guinea," comparing him to an oblivious outsider coming into a culture where everyone is excited about something and he doesn't get why everyone hates him.

      Delete
  10. How did Pat Murphy go from commercial radio to pirate shortwave? No one wanted to listen to him anymore?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It's not unheard of for commercial radio broadcasters and licensed amateurs to have dabbled in pirate radio. Art Bell has shared anecdotes about his ventures in pirate radio while he was in the military, long before his Coast to Coast radio gig.

      Most of these commercial and licensed amateurs who dabble in pirate radio value their personal privacy and prefer to keep their hobbies and pirate radio identities separate from their professional radio careers and licensed ham activities.

      Usually we don't hear any confirmation of their participation in unlicensed radio until after their deaths, when family and friends begin to share their inside stories. For example, note the histories that surfaced after the deaths of "Dave Rabbit" of Radio First Termer; and "R.F. Burns" of Radio Clandestine.

      We can only speculate about Murphy's lust for infamy - and have done so, for the amusement of our readers. Such infamy was the natural consequence of his repeated refusal to respect the privacy of those he considered rivals and imaginary enemies.

      Suffice it to say that, like rabbits, Lagomurphs are generally regarded as harmless herbivores but are also prone to a darker side - cannibalism. When stressed or suffering from paranoia due to insufficiently nutritious cecotropes, they are inclined to eat their own kind.

      Delete
  11. The time when Murphy began his career in pirate radio is difficult to determine because of several different and conflicting stories that he later gave due to the illegal nature of it at the time. The story that is the most well known is that he claimed that in 1966 he met a young Kracker who offered him $100 to have sex with him on camera (later discovered to have no film) in a seedy apartment in Kulpsville. The most plausible story is what his wife, JTA, later told interviewers is that in 1967, while currently unemployed and recovering from his erectile dysfunction, Murphy would attend a men's "card playing" club which was called the Poking Palace, located in Belfast, NY, a few evenings a week to "play cards" with a few friends where Ragnar, standing next to Murphy at a men's room urinal, saw his unusually large ego size and then gave him his business card with an offer to create the WBNY Blog. Murphy would also rant in various underground pirate radio forums as well as appearing in additional 8mm loops or stag films, while keeping his profession a secret from JTA until 1968.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. that is the most sensible explanation yet
      jailhouse type lovin
      jta is murphys wife
      he couldn't get it up
      he likes it up the hershey highway
      got the business from ragnar while standing at a urinal
      did low budget homo stag film hear the loon calling

      Delete
  12. I have to admit watching Mike's fall from grace and decent into madness is both pathetic and entertaining at the same time.

    ReplyDelete
  13. http://www.latimes.com/features/books/jacketcopy/la-jc-the-furor-over-sock-puppet-amazon-book-reviews-20120904,0,5360238.story

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks for the link, very interesting. Clearly not the Lagomurph, however. The fellow in that Amazon incident had enough of a conscience to admit to his sockpuppetry.

      Delete
  14. Hi everybody!

    Murphy is still above ground? I heard he had three months to live in June of 2011.

    Someone call the Vatican, we've got a miracle in Virginia!

    ReplyDelete
  15. Define 'above ground'

    ReplyDelete
  16. Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

    ReplyDelete
  17. I'd bet that his "motorcycle accident" was one big lie as well. For that matter, I'd be surprised if he ever really did ride a Harley.

    ReplyDelete
  18. The Harley rode him.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. How fucking dare anyone out there make fun of Comander Bunny after all he has been through.!

      He lost him aunt, he went through a divorce. he had two fuckin kids.

      His husband turned out to be a user, a cheater, and now he's going through a custody battle. All you people care about is…..blog readers and making money off of him.

      He’S A HUMAN! (ah! ooh!) What you don’t realize is that Comander Bunny is making you all this money and all you do is write a bunch of crap about him.

      He hasn’t performed on radio in years. His song is called “give me more attention” for a reason because all you people want is MORE! MORE-MORE, MORE: MORE!.

      LEAVE him ALONE! You are lucky he even performed for you BASTARDS!
      LEAVE Comander Bunny ALONE!…..Please.

      Perez Hilton talked about professionalism and said if Comander Bunny was a professional he would’ve pulled it off no matter what.

      Speaking of professionalism, when is it professional to publicly bash someone who is going through a hard time.

      Leave Comander Bunny Alone Please…. !
      Leave Comander Bunny Spears alone!…right now!….I mean it.!

      Anyone that has a problem with him you deal with me, because he is not well right now.

      LEAVE him ALONE!

      Delete
    2. Considering the lack of posts/activity on this blog, can I presume Jerry Graves ("Commander Bunny" of pirate radio station WBNY) has died? That tool lived to offend, and since he's not offending anyone lately he must be dead. Finally.

      Can I go back to playing radio now?

      Delete
    3. "Commander Bunny" may be "dead"?-- but he was well enough to post on his blog a week ago, soliciting for votes in his ill-fated 2012 presidential campaign

      Recent polls of likely voters showed him running just slightly behind the ghost of Ted Bundy

      Delete
  19. Sorry to hear about Commander Bunny's husband.

    I mean, really sorry to have heard about it.

    Now get that damned image out of my head!

    ReplyDelete
  20. .... On another note, I have "officially" moved on beyond my long-running feud with the operator known as "Commander Bunny". That has been the case for two months, although most may not realize it was a deliberate decision. Online, I intend to just ignore his antics from now on, which is probably the best thing for pirate radio. He has exposed, threatened or abused so many different people now that it has ceased to be newsworthy. We don't intend to delete any past history, but the whole thing really needs no more discussion by us-- he's done more himself to prove our case than we could ever do. While we reserve the right to poke fun at him on our programs from time to time, the online focus of the TCS blog and the Free Radio Cafe forum will now stick to the promotion of pirate radio listening and pirate radio broadcasting.

    ahh yeah ok
    nothing new in the way this game was played

    ReplyDelete
  21. Don't sweat it my dear, you'll survive being bested.

    ReplyDelete
  22. Looks like he plans on being around for another four years, since he's already announced the beginning of his 2016 presidential campaign.

    Aren't we lucky.

    ReplyDelete
  23. White Bunny Mourning Radio

    ReplyDelete
  24. 2016?!? Mike must have one of those rare terminal cancer's that has a prognosis of decades.

    ReplyDelete
  25. So is this site dead, or does it only post when the Rabbit shows up?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Oh, and Merry X-mas.

      Or whatever winter holiday you hold dear.

      Delete
  26. not dead ... more like the cat waiting to pounce ...

    ReplyDelete
  27. Replies
    1. Well if this blog is dead then I guess the PIRATE WAR is really finally over.

      Delete
  28. It's not over until Mikey "Commander Bunny" Graves quits the game.

    ReplyDelete
  29. Or as we like to say, if you don't start no sh*t, there won't BE no sh*t. Hence, a little quietude from the Bunny camp.

    Or it could be that folks just went back to *enjoying* their hobby, the way it was meant to be.

    ReplyDelete
  30. He ran like a rabbit.

    ReplyDelete
  31. He ain't no Al Fansome.

    ReplyDelete
  32. So .... the guys at HFU are logging Graves again. Don't they realize they are helping put new naive listeners (and potential ops)into contact with Graves?

    And we all know how Graves uses their info.

    I can only hope they will reconsider ... unless they get their jollies from helping to set up others and then laughing at their misfortune.

    ReplyDelete
  33. They log Graves because they log everything; all that can be hoped is that people will mention what a crazy OP the Rabbit is.

    ReplyDelete
  34. What to do you think the items that run in the Amazon scroll at the bottom of the page on HFU refer to? About every fourth one is a shot at the Bunny.

    The RTN op, Smolinski, Fansome and Pigmeat throw jabs from time to time at the Bunny on HFU and other sites when Graves/Murphy/Bunny tries to go "good guy" to the new folks.

    Graves has constantly harassed and threatened those guys over the months and years. If they consider him irrelevant and the butt of jokes, why shouldn't everyone else?

    I loved Chris's log of WBNY last night. A header saying who it was, then a blank space where the info should be. Much like the blank space between Graves ears.





    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I know they are mocking the Rabbit, O Angry One....

      Then it's up to the community to point out that he is a dangerous operator on the various forums, and hope that nobody gets nailed thanks to WBNY.

      Delete
  35. Looks like Mike couldn't resist bringing out his sockpuppet Winston to log his own station again. Nothing has changed at the FRN, same games same garbage.

    ReplyDelete
  36. Merry Christmas Guise. Looking forward to some new posts in 2013.

    ReplyDelete
  37. Nothing wrong with making fun of the rabbit.

    But how many newbs are going to identify his weak, poorly modulated signal? Unless there is a log to refer to.

    The log is a link to the bunny. Regardless of what detail is logged, the log and google will lead to uninitiated straight to the rabid one.

    Is that a good idea?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. No, but we can't shun him....all we can do is lay out what sort of operator he is.

      Delete
    2. "Can't"?

      There's no "can't".

      Delete
    3. Then "for the good of the cause" we should monitor him and make it known he is a bad dude.

      Delete
  38. I see no good reason why the FCC shouldn't be able to read loggings of WBNY, the same as any other station. If we don't post them, they can't read them.

    ReplyDelete
  39. Damn it Bob, you're gonna give old man Murphy a stroke, popping up out of nowhere like that.

    Now,I've got a question for you. How do you and God Almighty pull off this omniscient stuff? St. Francis saw God everywhere, Murph and JTA see you everywhere.

    How do you do it? Got a rabbit in your hat or something?

    ReplyDelete
  40. Murph sure has been on the air a lot lately. Didn't he read all that great advice I posted through my sockpuppet JTA?

    Sure hope he's doing it from somewhere else besides Edsel Street or Smith Mountain Lake!

    ReplyDelete
  41. Not only is every year the “year of the Rabbit”, it also is the "year of the FRN being down".

    Can someone please reboot the TRS-80? Thanks.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. TRS-80? Too modern.

      Think IBM System/360.

      Or UNIVAC I.

      Delete

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