"It is a tale told by an idiot, full of sound and fury, signifying nothing."
--William Shakespeare, The Scottish Play
The "Bob Smith" versus Doc John incident needs little embellishment to be amongst the most amusing and bemusing episodes in the annals of pirate lore and war. But what would be the fun in telling it straight?
The feud also lends credence to the reports that a prominent FRN figure and veteran shortwave radio pirate, best known as Commander Bunny of WBNY, has at least tried to expose people he considered enemies of his definition of "good pirates" - more than once - and intended to have Doc John silenced by reporting the operator of Radio Yellowknife (later Northern Relay Service) to Canadian radio organizations.
As a sage and fair minded veteran observer* of the shortwave pirate radio scene alluded to on
his recent blog musings, this tale approaches Shakespearean levels of tragedy. Or, if your taste runs more towards dark humour,
the plot is more a tragicomedy or revenge play comparable to
Titus Andronicus.
If you are somehow invested in the notion of the
"integrity" of shortwave pirate radio scene (whatever the hell that means), it is a cautionary
Tale of Radio Paranoia, epitomizing hubris**, played by vain warriors and secret spies, villains and knaves, rascals and sockpuppets, as recounted by a jester and troll.
And if you don't have a pony in this race or dog in this hare-coursing, it's a lulzy comedy. Unless you're the hare. In which case
I reckon the hare gets fucked. Proper fucked.
"It's called a confidence game. Why? Because you give me your confidence? No. Because I give you mine."
--House of Games
Reexamining the timeline of related incidents revealed an orchestrated effort by the man behind the Commander Bunny facade to undermine another pirate radio operator at any cost.
In this
Tale of Radio Paranoia we'll summarize the prelude and focus on the "Bob Smith" incident. A follow up
Tale will cover more supporting details about the prelude and aftermath, including Commander Bunny's online and on-air slandercasting as His Hareness resorted to playing the NAMBLA card in a last ditch effort to silence a perceived enemy pirate.
Au Revoir, Radio Yellowknife
A couple of weeks ago, mid-July, we heard that in early 2011 someone had attempted to set up Canadian shortwave pirate radio operator Doc John (then of Radio Yellowknife relay service) to be busted. At that time John Poet (of The Crystal Ship) hadn't yet announced his May 2011 social call from the FCC. But the FCC notice would appear on their database only days later, towards the third week of July.
Wars, and rumors of attention whores began to smoulder like a slow match in Blackbeard's chin whiskers. Within hours gossip of snitches in britches sparkled like a fast fuse snaking towards the powder room.
Sure enough, looking back, the Radio Yellowknife relay service offered by Doc John starting in the autumn of 2010 seemed to have vanished by the third week of January 2011. Note this log on the Fabulous Rabbit Nuthugger's personal vanity site:
Radio Yellowknife Vanishes?
Poster: Lima Indigo
"Just tried to email Radio Yellowknife but it bounced with a 'no such address" message. Tried blog url and got 'blog not found'.
"Did someone receive The Knock?"
Posted January 20, 2011 12:00 on the FRN
Rumors emerged that an American posing as a Canadian shortwave listener under the pseudonym "Bob Smith" had attempted to expose Doc John and silence his station earlier this year. We were skeptical. But after reading the e-mail exchanges and intact headers, with IP information indicating the location of "Bob Smith", it clearly seemed to be some sort of attempt at a con game... or worse.
"Oh, you're a bad pony. And I'm not gonna bet on you."
--House of Games
What's up, Doc?
According to Doc John, his Radio Yellowknife station was the subject of a complaint from a "Bob Smith" in late 2010 or early 2011:
"...under the name Bob Smith at bobsmith6955@yahoo (he) got a hold of the Ham radio club in Yellowknife and complained about RF interference in his house and also said he had contacted the DOT as well as CBC about me.
"This prompted a witch hunt in Yellowknife that I heard of second hand when I was doing a web search on Radio Yellowknife and came across an article done in the Club rag. (See: The Ensign, volume 4, issue 1, 2011. --GF)
"When I contacted them under another name they gave me the name Bob Smith and e-mail addy... I also shortly thereafter was contacted by a CBC reporter wanting to do a story on RY."
--Doc John
After that incident, Doc John closed the gmail account for Radio Yellowknife and reemerged shortly thereafter as Northern Relay Service.
"Bob Smith" e-mails Doc John
(The following is a verbatim exchange of e-mails from February 9-10, 2011, between "Bob Smith" and Doc John. A few pertinent lines or phrases will be emphasized to clarify the connection to the legendary shortwave pirate radio operator known as Commander Bunny. --GF)
(Update 7/19/12: "Bob Smith" initiated these faux-friendly emails the day *after* he'd already emailed the Yellowknife Amateur Radio Society complaining about Northern Relay Service. The Lagomurph's complaint wasn't due to anything that happened in this email exchange with Doc John. Murphy had already decided to snitch out the "rival" pirate. This entire email exchange was an attempt to get Northern Relay Service on air to make it easier for YARS or Canadian authorities to DF the station. --GF)
Title: "What's up?"
From: Bob Smith (bobsmith6955@yahoo.com)
Date: Wed, Feb 9, 2011 at 4:52 AM
Subject: Whats up?
To: northernrelayservice@gmail.com
Dude when you going to be on the air again?
Lethbridge is quiet without your signal filling up my radio. I may have to take a huge bong hit, and go over to the
Mormon Temple and zone out!
Are you going to be on this weekend? And if so when and what frequency?
Bob
===
(Being the cautious type, Doc John checks the headers in the e-mail from "Bob Smith". Bob implies he's in Lethbridge, Canada. IP indicates Bob is from Newport News, Virginia in the USA***. According to sources who checked the return addresses for their 2008 ebay purchases of WBNY items, Newport News, VA, is the location of the ebay vendor who sold WBNY memorabilia. --GF)
===
From: Doc John
Subject: Re: Whats up?
To: "Bob Smith" (bobsmith6955@yahoo.com)
Date: Wednesday, February 9, 2011, 9:44 AM
Greetings BOB;
We here at the northern relay service appreciate that the only things that can replace our signal is pot and Jesus ( be careful combining the two). But our signal like the rapture will be announced by a voice from the air ,and if you tune somewhere between 6.930 and 6.940 sometime in the early evening you will have a chance of hearing us. However the north has been under the blanket of solar wind ejected from a coronal hole in the sun this past week and being environmentally conscious we do not even try . It would simply be entertainment to alien culture many light years from now..
But now that you are on our e-mail list we will alert you if we go on . But for now enjoy cruising the pirate bands,but
we recommend getting your rabies shots as there is a scare out there about rabid rabbits.
Until then fly, a kite ,and keep your toupee glue handy, you are in Lethbridge!
We will be trying this weekend
Doc John
===
(Note the "rabid rabbits" remark. Will Commander Bunny take the bait? --GF)
===
From: Bob Smith (bobsmith6955@yahoo.com)
Date: Wed, Feb 9, 2011 at 7:53 AM
Subject: Re: Whats up?
To: Doc John
Cool!
Don't be too hard on the rabbit, he's been around a long time and given us some pretty good shows. But I anxiously await your relays. You are right, conditions have been awful of late.
Pot and Jesus is a nice mix. Both can be appreciated.
Thanks for not making me have to hang out at the Mormon Temple. That's about the only thing happening here in town. Thanks for putting me on the mailing list. Keep up the good work dude!
Bob
===
(Bob takes the bunny bait. No reply from Doc John between previous and next e-mails from "Bob Smith". --GF)
===
From: Bob Smith (bobsmith6955@yahoo.com)
Date: Wed, Feb 9, 2011 at 6:19 PM
Subject: Re: Whats up?
To: Doc John
Doc John:
What got you into Pirate Radio?
My Dad and Grand-dad got me into listening. I've got an Icom-735 but haven't done any transmitting for years.
Too many Industry Canada cars running around here.
My Dad used to listen to Pirates on the shortwave when I was a kid. So did my Grand-Dad. In fact, I remember being a kid, maybe 10 or so and
listening to Commander Bunny back in the 70's. That pirate has been on for a long time. Also listened to Voice of the Voyager. Didn't really hear any real Canadian Pirates until the late 80's when CSIC came on, and he was out East in Ontario. This guy Poet on the FRN has also been around since the 80's. Listened to him with his Crystal Ship station.
I take it by your posts that you're up in the
Yukon or NT. Great place to be to be a Pirate. Way too many people here. And its gotten worse over the years. No offense to the Mormons but that Temple here brings them in by the droves at certain times of the year. Makes poor little Lethbridge a traffic jam!
Well, keep up the good work, can't wait to hear you again this weekend. Can you do the
Voice of Next Thursday again? Love that guy. Aussie isn't he?
Stay warm, thanks again
Bob Smith
Lethbridge - actually on the road heading west towards Waterton
===
(Okay, bear with my interpretation of the smoke signals. Bob Smith reinforces his Lethridge, Canada, QTH lie. He also implies he was a pirate and name-drops other famous pirates, presumably to gain Doc John's trust, which he follows through by casually trying to get Doc John to specify his location. Then he mentions Voice of Next Thursday, one of several programmers - including me - who were caught in the middle of Commander Bunny's invented and unnecessary feud and demands for exclusive loyalty to WBNY's relay service. --GF)
===
From: Doc John
Date: Thu, Feb 10, 2011 at 10:06 AM
Subject: Re: Whats up?
To: Bob Smith (bobsmith6955@yahoo.com)
Hey BOB
It is a wonderful aspect of radio to be sure . As far as what got me into radio , I was a broadcast engineer for the Signal corp way back in the day. When I retired from military life I got bored and missed playing with radio. I'm a radio democracy freak at heart. When the idea of pirate radio came up with some friends over coffee we jumped and the rest is history.
Yes
the commander has been around for a while ,but lately
everyone has been commenting that he is loosing it. Not much on the FRN
but on IRC etc, privately. Me thinks the first class stamp trade is good, and
commercialism has corrupted his soul.
Unfortunately the commander scared our Good friend Voice of Next Thursday into
going exclusive with him and we are looking to fill the vacuum left by Gabriel Symes the genius behind it all. We hope he gets around to changing his mind soon. We will respect his decision.
take care and enjoy the airwaves.
DOC J
===
(This is where Doc John sets the snare and freshens the bait. Commander Bunny bites, hard, and snares himself. --GF)
===
From: Bob Smith (bobsmith6955@yahoo.com)
Date: Fri, Feb 11, 2011 at 3:27 AM
Subject: Re: Whats up?
To: Doc John
Dude, you didn't let me know you were on last night. Just saw the logs! Bummer. Let me know!
I don't get involved in all that inside stuff, just enjoy listening to my Sony 2010 here, got a nice longwire out the back window!
Keep it up. enjoy hearing you Doc.
Bob
===
Thus endeth that particular e-mail exchange between "Bob Smith" and Doc John.
"You see, in my trade, this is called - what you did - you cracked out of turn. Huh? You see? You crumbed the play."
--House of Games
The results of Doc John flipping "Bob Smith's" con game around?
Within hours, ComBun sockpuppet Ballistic Beans takes the bait and runs with it, foaming at the mouth:
"IRC the destruction of Pirate Radio - The FRN Grapevines"
ComBun's less acerbic consensus suckerpuppet, Mosby, chimes in with a sucker's 'tell':
"Dumb monkey relays - The FRN Grapevines"
Up next... Commander Bunny takes the bait, snares himself, and goes
full
retard
suicide bomber. In the process, he reveals the extent of his decade-old sockpuppetry, irreparably splinters the web's oldest shortwave pirate radio site, connects every dot between his various online and real life personas, and, perhaps most damaging, undermines the fragile foundation of trust right at the time when, coincidentally, the FCC has renewed enforcement activity against shortwave pirates.
Moral of the Story Thus Far
Moral? In pirate radio? You're kidding right? And by you, I mean me. But what did we learn today, kids?
Don't hook with a hooker. If your opponent's name is Joe Frazier, he's probably better at it than you are.
Don't try to con a con man. If he's any good at it, he's already sussed you out and planned counter moves.
Don't troll with an e-mail account that reveals your location. And if you've burned through so many aliases and e-mail accounts that you can't keep track of them, maybe - and I'm going out on a limb here with a really extreme suggestion, probably too unrealistic but let's just ponder it a moment, carefully and soberly - maybe, just maybe, it's time to
STOP BEING A DICK. You might be surprised how many people actually enjoy your company and creative output without the nonstop dickery.
*That is not sarcasm. I'm sincere in that statement.
**I don't mean hubris in the watered down contemporary sense of someone suffering from excessive pride or arrogance. I'm talking about football sack dance hubris. I mean the kind of hubris shown by Achilles dragging Hector's corpse around the battlefield behind his chariot. The death of Achilles through his only vulnerable spot (at the hands of Paris, who was far from brave or heroic) is the implied judgment of the gods for hubris, which was once considered a crime in Greece. It's closer to the real concept of karma, as opposed to the bunnyman's concept of karma, which he mistakes for revenge and vendettas.
***IP from headers of "Bob Smith" emails (note - the Sunnyvale, CA, IP is just Yahoo's corporate HQ):
Delivered-To: northernrelayservice@gmail.com Received: by 10.147.136.17 with SMTP id o17cs108031yan; Wed, 9 Feb 2011 03:52:32 -0800 (PST) Received: by 10.150.197.17 with SMTP id u17mr1598406ybf.25.1297252351376; Wed, 09 Feb 2011 03:52:31 -0800 (PST) Return-Path: Received: from nm12.bullet.mail.sp2.yahoo.com (nm12.bullet.mail.sp2.yahoo.com [98.139.91.82]) by mx.google.com with SMTP id w42si536172ybe.20.2011.02.09.03.52.29; Wed, 09 Feb 2011 03:52:30 -0800 (PST) Received-SPF: pass (google.com: best guess record for domain of bobsmith6955@yahoo.com designates 98.139.91.82 as permitted sender) client-ip=98.139.91.82; Authentication-Results: mx.google.com; spf=pass (google.com: best guess record for domain of bobsmith6955@yahoo.com designates 98.139.91.82 as permitted sender) smtp.mail=bobsmith6955@yahoo.com; dkim=pass (test mode) header.i=@yahoo.com Received: from [98.139.91.65] by nm12.bullet.mail.sp2.yahoo.com with NNFMP; 09 Feb 2011 11:52:29 -0000 Received: from [98.139.91.57] by tm5.bullet.mail.sp2.yahoo.com with NNFMP; 09 Feb 2011 11:52:29 -0000 Received: from [127.0.0.1] by omp1057.mail.sp2.yahoo.com with NNFMP; 09 Feb 2011 11:52:29 -0000 Received: from [173.71.152.9] by web110002.mail.gq1.yahoo.com via HTTP; Wed, 09 Feb 2011 03:52:28 PST X-Mailer: YahooMailClassic/11.4.20 YahooMailWebService/0.8.108.291010 Date: Wed, 9 Feb 2011 03:52:28 -0800 (PST) From: Bob Smith Subject: Whats up? To: northernrelayservice@gmail.com
Finally, a tip o' the animated top hat to Evil Elvis for the "con's piracy" title idea. Evil Elvis has a genius for portmanteaus, such as "dirtfed" to describe a drifty, distorted signal.