Saturday, August 27, 2011

Spider Hole Floods. Commander Bunny Flees Outer Banks

Once again ToRP thanks our guest correspondents, without whom the rumoursphere would be much less... spherical. --GF

The Sludge Report - by Matt Sludge

(Rooters - 26 August 2011)

Frizzy Head Tells Kracker And Bunny,"Bismallah! Screw You Guys,I'm Going Home!"

A major breach between the forces of Commander Bunny and Muammar "Frizzy Head" al-Gaddafi occurred late Friday night on Hatteras Island, NC.

The Bunny, suffering from an intense fear of burrow flooding, bugged out on the shoulders of his faithful Lieutenant Kracker in a bass boat bound for a hideout just north of the Great Dismal Swamp.

Frizzy Head, enraged by their desertion, spoke through an interpreter, "I've spent decades trying to bring down the United States through my minions, the Rodent Revolution. While I appreciate the use of the emergency hutch during the troubles in my own country, this desertion cannot be forgiven.

"I declared a Line of Death from east of the Currituck Sound to the Beaufort Inlet, to defend these two cowards. At the first sign of tiny storm they flee like running dogs. Bismallah! Screw these guys, I'm going home!"

Colonel Frizzy Head, boarding a helicopter bound for a Raleigh, NC. airport, where a jet awaited to take him to his home in Sirte, Libya, declared "I'll take my chances against NATO rather than deal with those two lying sons of donkey's again!"

In related news, Pat Murphy, Pirate Radio Expert Deluxe, reported that his bass boat had been stolen as he was preparing to evacuate from his Outer Banks home.

Local responders said Murphy was ranting about a poet and giant rabbit when they arrived.

Due to the state of emergency on the Outer Banks, Murphy was sedated and evacuated to his home in Virginia.

Bub Johnson, a local resident who witnessed the event,said Murphy was babbling about "lying poets, hutches, his socks, and calling for a long lost love with a wart on his forehead."

Johnson declared, "I always thought the boy was squirrelly. Now I know he was plain nuts!"

(This reporter hopes Murphy can recover both his boat,his lost love and his sanity.)

More to follow.


  1. Someone needs to stop this Sludge guy! He's destroying Pirate Radio!! It's not fun anymore!!!

  2. Je suis d'accord avec mon estimé chaussette-mate Mosby! Nous avons besoin de s'unir dans un tiroir et d'exposer ce cul chapeau de qui est ruiner radio pirate en étant plus drôle que le Commandant Lapin!

    Tous ensemble maintenant!
    1. Lancez Cool Edit.
    2. Rant et cracher dans le micro.
    3. Montez pitch shift 25%.
    4. ???
    5. Pro Fête!

    Les Haricots a parlé!

  3. Low-Budget Translation:
    I agree with my considered sock-matt Mosby! We need to link ourselves in a drawer and to expose this bottom hat of which is to ruin pirate radio station while being funnier than the Commander Lapin!

    All together now!
    1. Launch Cool Edit.
    2. Rant and to spit in the microphone.
    3. Assemble pitch shift 25%.
    4. ???
    5. Pro Celebrates!

    The Beans spoke!

  4. I find it pretty shitty to make comments like this in the face of a major natural distaster. Regardless of what/who anyone beleives in this whole mess, making silly jokes at time like this is just plane uncool.

    I was really beleiving and standing behind you guys until i read this stuff.

    Have fun playing with your windoze and mac OSux toys while the real Pirates begin to fire up and show you all what's up.

    And don't YOU ever forget it!!!

  5. Nice bit. Just one criticism:

    Before one can evacuate from the Outer Banks, one has to actually BE in the Outer Banks.

  6. Uh oh; it's starting to smell like a fart in a phone booth in here. And just when we thought we had shut down the FRN for good.

  7. Not sure if Este Caulis trolling or ha-ha-only-serious.

  8. Sounds like he's got a Bunny up his butt,Jim.

  9. 'I was totally for you before I was totally against you'.

    Uh huh. Yeah.

  10. Wow, Walmart having a firesale on Socks? Impressive turnout!

  11. My freind, saying this, you are, as if a bad thing, it is? No? A QSL for this raido pogrom I can have yes? I thanks to you.

  12. This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

  13. Matt Sludge, YOU ROCK!

    (That being the case, you are probably soon to be fingered by CB as another of my "sock-puppets"...)

  14. he is my sockpupet
    no wait he is guise's
    no wait he is
    aww wabbit krap i don't know

    sludge on


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