The Sludge Report - by Matt Sludge
(Rooters - 26 August 2011)
Frizzy Head Tells Kracker And Bunny,"Bismallah! Screw You Guys,I'm Going Home!"
A major breach between the forces of Commander Bunny and Muammar "Frizzy Head" al-Gaddafi occurred late Friday night on Hatteras Island, NC.
The Bunny, suffering from an intense fear of burrow flooding, bugged out on the shoulders of his faithful Lieutenant Kracker in a bass boat bound for a hideout just north of the Great Dismal Swamp.
Frizzy Head, enraged by their desertion, spoke through an interpreter, "I've spent decades trying to bring down the United States through my minions, the Rodent Revolution. While I appreciate the use of the emergency hutch during the troubles in my own country, this desertion cannot be forgiven.
"I declared a Line of Death from east of the Currituck Sound to the Beaufort Inlet, to defend these two cowards. At the first sign of tiny storm they flee like running dogs. Bismallah! Screw these guys, I'm going home!"
Colonel Frizzy Head, boarding a helicopter bound for a Raleigh, NC. airport, where a jet awaited to take him to his home in Sirte, Libya, declared "I'll take my chances against NATO rather than deal with those two lying sons of donkey's again!"
In related news, Pat Murphy, Pirate Radio Expert Deluxe, reported that his bass boat had been stolen as he was preparing to evacuate from his Outer Banks home.
Local responders said Murphy was ranting about a poet and giant rabbit when they arrived.
Due to the state of emergency on the Outer Banks, Murphy was sedated and evacuated to his home in Virginia.
Bub Johnson, a local resident who witnessed the event,said Murphy was babbling about "lying poets, hutches, his socks, and calling for a long lost love with a wart on his forehead."
Johnson declared, "I always thought the boy was squirrelly. Now I know he was plain nuts!"
(This reporter hopes Murphy can recover both his boat,his lost love and his sanity.)
More to follow.