Wednesday, August 24, 2011

Emergency Hutch in Virginia Piedmont Falls in Earthquake! Bunny Escapes With Grenade,Vows to Fight On

This was too good to be buried in the 8/11/11 comments section. Thanks, Matt Sludge, whoever you are! --GF

by Matt Sludge

(Rooters, 24 August 2011)

Commander Bunny's back-up hutch,overlooking a lake in the Virginia Piedmont, was totally destroyed Tuesday afternoon in an earthquake that rocked the mid-Atlantic region. The Bunny and his band of loyal followers, had been in hiding at the emergency hutch since being outted earlier in the summer pirate wars.

Commander Bunny,at first believed to have been killed in the quake,was later seen posting on the FRN about the possibility of Hurricane Irene swamping his spider hole in the dunes of the Outer Banks of North Carolina. The Bunny vowed in a private email to fight his enemies "From the dunes of Kitty Hawk, to the frozen fields of Kalamazoo!"

Among the casualties at the hutch listed in the email were Mosby, Beans, Thumper, lovemyradios, Bob Smith and a host of others.

The Bunny was said to have been pulled free of the debris by his loyal Lieutenant, Kracker, who some speculate only saved the Bunny in order to have something to eat in the aftermath of the disaster.

Pat Murphy,Pirate Radio expert deluxe, when contacted for his opinion on the collapse of the hutch responded, "Hatch? Hatch? You mean that Oren Hatch fella from Utah? Great guy. Met him when I was working for the Governor of Montana. Hey! You damned kids get off of my grass! Yeah, you may look like a third grader, but I know it's you Radio Bob. Trying to get my... I mean Billo's... I mean Commander Bunny's Grenade!"

In related news,the Bunny and Kracker were reportedly seen fleeing the collapsed hutch with a North African man they referred to only as "Frizzy Head".

More to follow as reports come in.

Video Zeitgeist: Fart in a phone booth


  1. LOL!!

    Brilliant stuff!

  2. I am highly suspecting that CB actually was the cause of the whole earthquake itself. Having dug himself the deepest hole ever in the history of pirate radio he hit a fault and set off the whole thing.
    Its either that or Doc John of NRS built himself a HAARP device and was trying to get CB back for the NAMBLA label!

  3. In a related "you can't make this shit up" story, Weather Channel "meteorologist Stephanie Abrams kept abreast of the Virginia centered earthquake..."

    So, honk if you heart temblors.

  4. earthquake ??
    hurricane ??
    harrp ??

    KARMA ??


  6. Someone should tell the rodent that what gets written here would be libel, not slander, and that only if it weren't true, which it is.

  7. Pat Murphy Doth Protest Too Much

  8. The Snitch Puppet King seems to be upset about something. For someone, who claims to dislike "internet personalities", the Revolting Rodent seems to post in his blog an awful lot. Almost to the point of it being about self-love (a nice euphemism, if you will.)
    I mean that might seem to make Bunny/Beans/Murphy an (I don't know) ATTENTION WHORE!
    With all of the personalities he has used in the past, it seems like he could find one that could use a civil tongue.
    But, then again, I am talking about Bunny/Beans/Mosby/Thumper, etc., so I know that is not possible.

  9. Pat Murphy is busy pretending to be evacuating from North Carolina.

  10. Spider Hole Floods. Commander Bunny Flees Outer Banks. Frizzy Head Tells Kracker And Bunny,"Bismallah! Screw You Guys,I'm Going Home!"

    (Rooters 8-26-11)

    A major breach between the forces of Commander Bunny and Moammar "Frizzy Head" Ghadafi occurred late Friday night on Hatteras Island,NC.

    The Bunny,suffering from an intense fear of burrow flooding bugged out on the shoulders of his faithful Lieutenant Kracker in a bass boat bound for a hideout just north of the Great Dismal Swamp.

    Frizzy Head,enraged by their desertion, spoke through an interpreter, "I've spent decades trying to bring down the United States through my minions,the Rodent Revolution. While I appreciate the use of the emergency hutch during the troubles in my own country,this desertion cannot be forgiven."

    "I declared a Line of Death from east of the Curritick Sound to the Beaufort Inlet,to defend these two cowards. At the first sign of tiny storm they flee like running dogs. Bismallah! Screw these guys,I'm going home!"

    Colonel Frizzy Head,boarding a helicopter bound for a Raliegh,NC. airport,where a jet awaited to take him to his home in Sirte,Libya,declared "I'll take my chances against NATO rather than deal with those two lying sons of donkey's again!"

    In related news,Pat Murphy,Pirate Radio Expert Deluxe,reported that his bass boat had been stolen as he was preparing to evacuate from his Outer Banks home.

    Local responders said Murphy was ranting about a poet and giant rabbit when they arrived.

    Due to the state of emergency on the Outer Banks,Murphy was sedated and evacuated to his home in Virginia.

    Bub Johnson,a local resident who witnessed the event,said Murphy was babbling about,"lying poets,hutches,his socks,and calling for a long lost love with a wart on his forehead."

    Johnson declared,"I always thought the boy was squirrely. Now I know he was plain nuts!"

    (This reporter hopes Murphy can recover both his boat,his lost love and his sanity.)

    More to follow.


Anonymous comments are welcomed to encourage frank participation. No need for your e-mail, OpenID, or Google accounts. Use a freebie proxy if you prefer when visiting ToRP, there are many.

Comments may be deleted if they:
1. Expose personal info about people who aren't public figures or limited-purpose public figures (if you're not sure, Google those terms). Don't drop dox, kthxbai.
2. Threaten real-life violence or stalking. This is just the interbutt. Got aggro? Go play some video games.
3. Fail to amuse us. But we're easily amused.

There may be a short delay before your comment appears, especially if links are included in your comment.