Sunday, December 25, 2011

Merry Trollmas & May Your Stockings Be Full of Personalities

Doggerel by Grinch Faux

Illustration by Dea Fauxnette Who

Deck the FRN with stockings,
Thumper and Beans and Mosby too!
Commander Bunny starts his stalkings,
Fiddle-faddle, piddle-paddle, Bouncer too.

The Bunnyman, t-shirts he's hawking,
Fridge magnets, bumper stickers, pogie bait too!
Soon Doc John begins the mockings,
"Kiddie-mauler!" Bob Smith hollers, but it ain't true!

Now the rumours start a-swirling,
Snitchy-bitchy, tattle-rattle, gossipy goo!
Accusations are a-twirling,
Poet gets a visit from the FCC too!

Sock puppets do all the logging,
Multi-fursonality impressions too.
Soon Guise Faux begins a-blogging,
Posters on the trollercoasters, laughing at you!

Hare-y flame wars for no reason,
Folderollin', bunny trollin', blames it on you.
Scampers back to call it treason,
M&Ms, cecotropes, eat your own poo.

Empty out the stocking drawer,
Hunny bunny, nose is runny, big boo-hoo!
Who's the cute attention whore?
Gotta luv it, everybody's looking at you!

Lagomurph sez just ignore us,
then they'll go away like they always do.
"Not this time!" sings A Nonny Mouse chorus,
Nibble-cheezin', bunny-teasin', makin' him blue.

"All my funs they are a-stealing,"
Funny bunny blog-flogging blame it on you.
"eQSLs are not appealing."
Ruin brewin', boo-hoo'in', melodrama-fu.

This is how we'll make amends,
spin doctor, whopper-popper, propagandoo.
Different lies for different friends,
whiffle waffle something awful make it seem true.

Troll we now in endless measure,
Jibber-jabber, blibber-blabber, ho-ho-ho!
But we do it for your pleasure,
Trollo-lo-lo-lo, lo-lo-lo-lo!

This doggerel goes on forever,
Guise wheezin', what's the reason? Too much beer!
Better end it now or never,
Merry Christmas, Better DX, Happy New Year!

With apologies to "Pogo" cartoonist Walt Kelly.


  1. i like it did you miss a few socks


  2. Well, that's a hell of a great idea!

    Only problem is, I don't know whether Guise has collected enough dox on everyone to be a viable pirate radio candidate or not... or has enough sock-puppets to voice their support...

    Well, maybe that's not actually a requirement...

    GUISE FAUX 2012

    'More fun than a forum-full of sock-puppets'


  3. I was hoping for Lord Protector of the Realm, but I suppose president will do.

    Looks like we'll need some t-shirts, bumper stinkers, fridge magnets... phone taps, satellite surveillance...

  4. Oh, but you're already 'Lord Protector of the Realm'...

    ... but it might be nice to have an active anti-rodent campaign with which to refute the "it's even stupider this time around" Bunny-Kracker 2012 campaign...

  5. Oh My Goodness. A reference to "Pogo"? Way to skew old, Grandpa!
    Seriously, another wonderful piece of prose from the Lord Protector of the Radio Realm! (Is that acceptable?)

  6. I understand that once again, Commander Bunny failed to qualify for the Virginia primary. Which is kinda ironic.

  7. "...Commander Bunny failed to qualify for the Virginia primary."

    While the Bunnyman can easily muster 10,000 sockpuppet "signatures", the Commonwealth requires legible signatures rather than paw prints.

    But he's in good company along with Newt and... umm... what's-his-name, that other fellow with the memory problem?

  8. Two great white sharks, swimming in the ocean, spied a ship in distress
    with passengers jumping into the water.

    "Follow me, son," the father shark said to the son shark and they swam
    to the ship.

    "First we swim around them a few times with just the tip of our fins

    And they did.

    "Well done, son! Now we swim around them a few times with all of our
    fins showing."

    And they did.

    "Now we eat everybody."

    And they did.

    When they were both gorged, the son asked, "Dad, why didn't we just eat
    them all at first? Why did we swim around and around them?"

    His wise father replied, "Because they taste better without the shit

  9. I recall my first time with a condom, I was 16 or so.
    I went in to buy a packet of condoms at the pharmacy.
    There was this beautiful woman assistant behind the
    counter and she could see that I was new at it.
    She handed me the package and asked if I knew how to wear one.

    I honestly answered, 'No, this is my first time.'

    So she unwrapped the package, took one out and
    slipped it over her thumb. She cautioned me to make
    sure it was on tight and secure. I apparently still
    looked confused. So she looked all around the store
    to see if it was empty. It was empty.

    'Just a minute,' she said, and walked to the door, and locked it.
    Taking my hand, she led me into the back room,
    unbuttoned her blouse and removed it. She unhooked
    her bra and laid it aside. 'Do these excite you?' She
    asked. Well, I was so dumb-struck that all I could do
    was nod my head. She then said it was time to slip the condom on.
    As I was slipping it on, she dropped her skirt,

    removed her panties and lay down on a desk.

    'Well, come on', she said, 'We don't have much time.'

    So I did the deed. It was so wonderful, that
    unfortunately, I could no longer hold back and
    KAPOW, I was done within a few minutes.
    She looked at me with a bit of a frown. 'Did you
    put that condom on?' she asked.
    I said, 'I sure did,' and held up my thumb to show her.
    She fainted.

  10. i dont get it is that a pokemon

  11. happy new year Guise Faux!!!!!!

  12. Ololol:

    This stuff just writes itself!

  13. LOL obviously Jerry is still quite delusional ... "The FRN where pirates aren't attacked, outed and smeared". Doh ... that's how you started this revolt ... idiot!

    BTW, does anyone know if that on-air apology for turning ops into the FCC (aired after Wolverine New Years eve) was the real thing, or just a stunt?

  14. Screenshotting again to preserve this one for posterity's sake (and to guard against Stalinist edits of the thread). Cheers to JTA for calling it as he sees it.

  15. I ran a back-door diagnostic on the FRN and have come to the following conclusion:

    The number of sock-puppet accounts created have reached critical mass and are overloading the server.


  16. Pat Murphy
    Cat Herder

    Posts: 1005
    Registered: Dec 98
    posted January 06, 2012 00:07
    None of you seem to have a problem with "waiting" when you want to complain!

    Those who have posted know the background on the FRN. All you're doing is providing fodder for the one's who'd destroy the FRN. Remember the delight they expressed when Joplin (where the FRN server is located) was hit with devastating tornado's and the FRN was down for a couple days?

    The fact that the FRN came back up so quickly is more than amazing. There are still issues with that event.

    Post about conditions, post about stations, do something to make the FRN better. Instead you want an instant fix because you had to "wait" a bit longer. How many "DECADES" has the FRN been there for you? This is how you show your loyalty and appreciation?

    Do you really want to wannabe's and pretenders to be the only source for Pirate information on the internet? Keep slamming the FRN, because you have to 'wait' for a few precious moments more.

    QUOTE >

    Remember the delight they expressed when Joplin (where the FRN server is located) was hit with devastating tornado's and the FRN was down for a couple days? <

    people lost their homes and everything others lost their lives and you worry about wannabe's and pretenders being the only source for Pirate information on the internet?

    jta is bad he is speaking up

    Cat Herder

    Posts: 1171
    Registered: Jan 2005
    posted January 06, 2012 17:54
    No, I don't. In fact, I recall nothing but concern about John Cruzan and his family on *any* site!
    I think maybe you're taking things too personally (again). We're mentioning this because we *do* want the FRN to be better - and to be better it needs some serious work. When a DSL subscriber says that it's slow, it's *S-L-O-W*. Imagine what it's like on basic dial-up!

    I understand that there's a problem behind the scenes, but you have to understand that doing nothing to fix things will only drive users away. Loyalty and appreciation have little, if anything, to do with it in this Internet Age; what matters to most is instant connections and instant solutions.

    attack murphy attack socks attack!!

  17. Today's replies:

    Two things, Lagomurph:

    1) Don't pull this 'take it backchannel' nonsense. The performance issues with the FRN are as plain as day to anyone who visits it - hell, I'm sitting off of a full DS3 right now, so it's not like this can be palmed off on my (or anyone else's) connection. If you really want to disrobe the Emperor then by all means go for it - but you're not fooling anyone.

    2) Drop the 'FRN IS TEH BESTEST!!1!" jingoism. Seriously, this is not an FRN-v.-HFU-v.-FRC issue; it's about shit server performance, which is an FRN problem.

    On a purely personal note, I have no issues with multiple websites covering the pirate radio scene (and shortwave in particular); I see that as a good thing. But what you seem to be unable to understand here, Jerry, is that your actions are determining how the FRN is perceived outside of it. Right now, those actions aren't really doing it any favours.

    Cosmik, I know you read these comments occasionally. While I don't know if you have the administrative power on the FRN to do this directly or not, I would very much urge you (or whomever may have the capability to do so) to remove admin powers over the forum from Pat Murphy and any other accounts that he may have access to.

    The reason I say this is that if this whole thing is ever going to be truly over, he needs to stop being able to make announcements that hold even the merest shred of a suggestion of somehow being representative of the FRN and/or pirate community as a whole. I'm not saying that he needs to be ostracised, banned, or gagged - but he does need to get himself under control or have some control exercised over him if he can't do it on his own.

    Obviously this is just my opinion, but I'm tired of him making this community an unpleasant place to be so that he can put his own brand of "fun" back into pirate radio. If someone could take the above ideas under consideration, I suspect that a good chunk of the community would be very appreciative.

  18. death to the FRN and Murphy!!!!

  19. Oh, dear, we seem to have missed some amusements whilst enjoying our fortnight holiday respite from paranoia on Umbrage Island.

    Alas, now that the festivities of Twelfth Night have passed, we suppose it's time to finally post our "best/worst of 2011" list... later today. Or tomorrow. We are pros at crastinating.

    Also, "death to the FRN and Murphy!!!!"? Shiver me timbers. Seems rather extreme. Let's compromise: "Colon hydrotherapy to the FRN and Murphy!!!! Twofer special this week only! Rid your body politic of toxins! Sluggish performance cured! Impacted cecotropes flushed! Fun restored!"

  20. Ya, I don't know about the whole 'death to the FRN & Murphy' business.

    Just like JTA pointed out to Pat that Al Fansome is not a website likwise with Murphy being the FRN. Just 'cause he's held it hostage for the last decade doesn't mean the FRN needs to 'die'. Pat just needs to be shutdown from performing his antics there. He's aleady been exposed for what he's done, thank goodness, but the FRN could still hold potential in an old school software kind of way.

    I still remember the FRN before it became Pat's cult-of-personality site when it felt more 'equal' to all the trouble makers.

  21. LOL ETM71 seems to have deleted his comment ... or had it deleted.

    Maybe he got some funky kung-fu himself. ;-)

    Either way, I guess it's another "man overboard". Just as well, that ship is sinking fast.

  22. Let it go. It had a good life. Throw a handful of dirt in the hole and walk away.

  23. ....ok, but only on two conditions:

    First, it has to be a full blown Catholic wake with enough booze to put everyone in the Betty Ford clinic for a month and....

    Second, Al Fansome has to do the Eulogy and tend bar to ensure a good pour for everyone....

    ....that was easy!

  24. done and done (if the fanman is agreeable) ... it deserves a full-blown send-off for past services rendered

  25. can we take a big shit in the hole

  26. I note with some interest that Krackwhore has pulled the last year's worth of content from his site. Has this been recycled into WBNY's 'premium' content, or was he simply once again hammered out of his tiny little mind when last operating the 'delete post' button?

  27. Perhaps he hopes to whitewash away the past year; or perhaps he's spent too much time under the influence of the 'white-washer-in-chief'.

  28. WBNY

    with people telling you that you need mental health help or just calling you ASSHOLE

  29. There's an old Romanian proverb commenting that if many people tell you the same thing, it's probably true:

    If one person says that you are drunk, you can ignore them. If two people tell you that you are drunk, you better lie down.

    Pat, you better lie down.

  30. "Like a dog that returns to his vomit, is a fool who repeats his folly" - Proverbs 26:11

    Pat simply cannot control himself. After proving, repeatedly, that he is too stupid for words, he is back yet again on his blog posting vituperation that is easily refuted as lies.

    And this is in the face of his own attempt to turn his blog into a "members only" site. Clearly, he just can't stand the fact that no one signed up for his blog, at least no one that he respected.

    Pat, you are the one who needs to end it, now. Take the PC and keyboard, and dump it in the toilet. You, will feel much better, and the voices will be gone. The rest of us won't care, since your stupidity was so obvious, but we still love you, and we want you to at least find some peace.

  31. New on the freak and rabbit network:

    Topic: An invitation to the FRN community
    Cat Herder
    Posts: 1084
    Registered: Jul 2007
    posted January 13, 2012 22:36
    Free Radio North America is a forum for the discussion of free radio, focusing on but not limited to unlicensed broadcasting in the high frequency (shortwave) spectrum. Other related topics of general interest to the North American free radio community are welcome. This is designed to be a place where people can feel free to post reception reports of any type they feel might be useful to share.

    Google groups says it does not exist. Not sure what to make of this, unless it's an attempt to make another "pro-bunny" "board".

  32. The same announcement was made in the most recent the Free Radio Weekly.

    It's pretty clear that participation in the FRN is way down. Pat and kracker probably still has admin privileges at the FRN, so that place will remain a hostile site, meaning that activity will continue to dwindle there.

    This may be an end run around that fact, as the Google group could be set up in such a way that only cosmik wields the power. Not that this is any better, particularly if the new boss is the same as the old boss.

    If the group does finally get created, it will be interesting to see how much personal information, particularly their location, is demanded from prospective members. I just noticed that the rodent is no longer requiring "WHERE YOU ARE" on his blog membership instructions; perhaps they now realize that people aren't going to fall for that twice.

  33. Statue of ImitationsJanuary 15, 2012 at 6:24 AM

    Cue; "Only the Lonely"

  34. Topic: Bluegrass - 6925U, 0100Z+

    Cat Herder

    Posts: 1180
    Registered: Jan 2005

    Been listening to some nice bluegrass music for a while. Started good but has faded to fair in Western NY. No talk or IDs noted. Long gap between tunes at 0113Z. Thought it was Ann Hoffer, but maybe Radio Appalachia? QSL appreciated.

    QRMed by WBNY s/on with another repeat of the MDA program.

    [This message has been edited by jta (edited January 15, 2012).]

  35. Pat Murphy
    Jan 15, 9:48 pm

    Appears this is working even better than Cos had imagined. Wonder if we (Cos) could get a Free Radio North America PT2 for discussions and we could leave this to just loggings? Just a thought. Just looks like we need more folks who want to post logs and enjoy Pirate Radio!

    Thanks Cos this was a great idea.

    I haven't heard a word from JC, and I've sent 3 emails to him.

  36. Do Pat and his "I don't care if you're a snitch" meatpuppet really think that we are going to fall for this .... AGAIN!!!! They are f**king morons!

    Let them rot in their own little hellhole.

  37. Hey Guise where's the best & worst of 2011?

  38. The FRN has gone black - it must be one of those high profile web sites protesting SOPA (that proposed legislation aimed at ramping up the prosecution of pirates).

  39. Actually, the FRN site is still accessable, but only to the patient faithful who continue to believe that snitching and sockpuppetry is fun.


    no FRN go here instead

  41. If you really loved pirate radio, you'd be happy to wait forever for the FRN to load.

  42. If you really loved pirate radio, you'd help rescue the FRN by providing your credit card number.

    Exp Date

  43. Free Radio North America - Google Groups:

    View profile
    More options
    Jan 13, 8:59 pm


    No question the whole scene has change, drastically over the past 5-years. The only way I can describe it is that some really EVIL bastards are out to get some folks in Pirate Radio. And they will post lies, gossip and any crap they can to get their targets.

    Making the more visible folks (who appear to be the target of their venom) less visible seems to be the only recourse. These are the kind of people who will turn on each other, when they don't have some of us to slander and defame.

    I think all of us have been heartbroken to see what they've done to something that used to be a lot of fun.

    Plus John Cruzan hasn't cared about the FRN for at least a decade and won't turn it over to Cos for a whole menu of reasons. I've been in touch with John too, and he claimed his personal business was somehow tied up in the FRN. Which at the time he started it (early 90's) was
    (his reasoning) was a necessary step to keep the FCC from claiming he was just running it to skirt the law. He never had to deal with the FCC in that respect but
    John felt he had to mix the two to protect the FRN. Sadly we've all
    witnessed the never ending lapses in domain payments, outages and down time. I agree the FRN will always be a part of Pirate Radio history, but unless Cruzan takes steps to fix it, no one will use it.

    This group is a great idea, and we can keep it to people who truly
    love Pirate Radio and don't want to turn it into a daily melodrama. I like th idea of "group discussion" over who's in and who's out.

    Count me in and I'll do whatever you ask to help.



    Other than the same old projection & hypocritical comments here, it's interesting Pat's attitude towards John Cruzan and the FRN.

    Just like all aspects of free radio itself, it is free of control and influence. A website can have history and be a place to gather, but when it becomes an institution of rank & file for who can do and say what, especially when it becomes a clique for a select few it no longer represents the idea of free expression.

    John does own the website, but he is not obligated to give it to you or anyone else just because you think he's not meeting your standards of what should be done with the FRN.

    You can fool yourself all you want Pat, but you will never own the hobby or control the people who contribute to it.

  44. This comment has been removed by the author.

  45. Sock-Puppeting Means Never Having To Say, "I've got a rotating ISP#"

    So much for Winston's IP address alibi... blown out of the water by the puppetmaster "himself".

  46. what is FRN?
    a abbreviation for a country?
    if so is it a nice friendly place to visit?

  47. Fapping Really Nervously
    Freakish Rectum Natives
    Floundering Remarkably Naturally
    Flatulent Reacharound Nexus
    Flaccid Retard Nugglers
    Forsaken Receiver Nuts
    Frequent Rabbit Neuroses
    Found Rapidly Nugatory
    Felches Rabid Numbats
    Fickle Rodent Nook

    (Note: I don't actually *hate* the FRN, but it is fun to poke it with sticks. If the problem children were sent packing, it's actually be a decent place again.)

  48. The FRN is dead, dead DEAD!!!! We did it! Bwahahahah!!!

  49. Much like the Soviet Union, the FRN went out with a wimper instead of a bang.

    I can still recall Guise Faux's words... "Mr. Murphy, tear down these sock puppets!"

  50. The FRN Vines are offline for the time being. I apologize for the performance issues of the system. I've been unable to contact the owner of the system this software sits on, and I can't effectively administer the Vines until this is fixed.

    did the virus finally take it's toll

    Anonymous said...January 19, 2012 10:41 PM
    (Note: I don't actually *hate* the FRN, but it is fun to poke it with sticks. If the problem children were sent packing, it's actually be a decent place again.)
    don't bet your Flaccid Rabbit NugglerNuts on that it will be the same cesspool clique for a select few if it comes back again


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