GlobalTuners Pokemon Challenge: 99.99% friendly DXers, 0.01% rabid Krackwhore

"I didn't invent the internet for this nonsense."
--ManBearPig

Illustrations by Dea Fauxnette

---

We received the following from sources who requested anonymity. As we have no personal experience with GlobalTuners (although we were registered on the old DX Tuners site, and now have alternative accesses to various web controlled receivers) we can say only that we are informed by reliable sources that it is an excellent site for DXers and that, with the apparent exception of a particular Cxxxxxxxx, NC, node, the site offers wholesome family entertainment and a welcoming environment for radio listening enthusiasts.

However, judging from the following documented encounter with pirate radio's own beloved Kracker, we would advise that only Pokemon masters age 6 or older risk an encounter with that particular receiver.

---

>W. Di L., M.D.
>SS F******
>Port.
>30 Nov 2011
>
>Hallo my freind
>
>I hope is no trouble you that I have this question of GlobalTuners.
>I am member on GlobalTuners many months and I enjoy very much.
>Is help when I travel my cruise ship and do not have my protable rado
>with me.
>
>I think I am respect and polite to every body. So. I am confuse
>with some thing that happens on other day. On 18 Nov 2011
>
>When visit C******** NC rado and has very good recepton. Many
>others people there before me so I wait and only listening. After is
>two hour most peoples leave and rado is 6930 AM is narrow filter.
>It sound not so good so I wait but I am only member their who is "normal user"
>can tune rado. So. I adjust wide filter to better sound. And try the
>ECSS tuning you see because is better when the weak signals?
>
>So. This "[kracker]" he make some things say seem not so nice. You see
>in chat log. I can not repeat him words they seem insult?
>
>I do Google of this his name and I see to your blog site are many of
>mentions his name this "kracker" so maybe I think you might help to me?
>
>I think I not do this wrong but am confuse. This not happen any time before.
>Is problem? Do RF rado tuner is not for me to use? Is private?
>
>Thanks you my freind and I can help you any things please tell me.
>W. Di L.
>********@*****.it

Dear Dr. Di L.

We regret that we did not hear from you under more pleasant circumstances.

Indeed, we have heard of this "Kracker" of whom you speak and with whom you experienced a most unfortunate encounter.

Fortunately, after consulting with experts, we are pleased to assure you that there is no risk of contagion from this encounter. The most sensible remedy is to avoid that particular node on GlobalTuners where you encountered a creature that is generally regarded as less dangerous than a Wild Snorlax in a Pokemon match. Please study the enclosed illustrated guide for doing battle with this lightly regarded and undocumented Pokemon known, unofficially, as the Krackwhore. If you have children or grandchildren between the ages of 3 and 6 they can easily help you defeat this not-particularly-noteworthy opponent, which was once regarded as suitable only for practice by complete novices until it was decided that the Krackwhore offered almost no challenge.

Please feel free to write us anytime. We wish you smooth sailing and good DX, wherever your journeys make take you.

Guise Faux

---

ILLUSTRATED GUIDE FOR DEFEATING THE WILD KRACKWHORE
FROM POKEMON MANUAL 2001
DELETED 2002 AS BORING AND UNWORTHY OF EFFORT

---

Connected!

GlobalTuners Radio Control Modern Skin version 4.0

[01:10] ----------------------

[01:10] * Welcome (name redacted)

[01:10] ----------------------

[01:17] * jax700 (Denver, US) has joined

[01:18] * nickstr1 (Avon IN, US) has joined

[01:20] * jax700 has left

[01:21] * Receiver locked to Normal users.

[01:21] * RF has left

[01:22] * RF (NC, US) has joined

[01:22] * Receiver has been locked by RF

[01:26] * jax700 (Denver, US) has joined

[01:26] * jax700 has left

[01:28] * nmoreno94 (Montevideo, UY) has joined

[01:33] * Radionuts (Ballinamult, IE) has joined

[01:33] * nmoreno94 has left

[01:35] * Receiver locked to Normal users.

[01:35] * RF has left

[01:36] * Radionuts has left

[01:37] * zorg: 6.92532MHz, USB, 6kHz

[01:37] * zorg: 6.92532MHz, USB, 3kHz

[01:37] * zorg: 6.92522MHz, USB, 3kHz

[01:37] * zorg: 6.92512MHz, USB, 3kHz

[01:37] * zorg: 6.9251MHz, USB, 3kHz

[01:37] * zorg: 6.9252MHz, USB, 3kHz

[01:39] * zorg: 6.9251MHz, USB, 3kHz

[01:39] * zorg: 6.925MHz, USB, 3kHz

[01:40] * zorg: 6.9251MHz, USB, 3kHz

[01:40] * zorg: 6.925MHz, USB, 3kHz

[01:40] * zorg: 6.9249MHz, USB, 3kHz

[01:40] * zorg: 6.9249MHz, USB, 1.5kHz

[01:40] * zorg: 6.9249MHz, USB, 3kHz

[01:40] * zorg sets AGC: On

[01:40] * zorg sets AGC: Off

[01:43] * nmoreno94 (Montevideo, UY) has joined

[01:44] * zorg: 6.9248MHz, USB, 3kHz

[01:44] * zorg: 6.9249MHz, USB, 3kHz

[01:44] [nmoreno94] what they are listening on this frequency?

[01:46] * zorg: 6.9248MHz, USB, 3kHz

[01:46] [zorg] strange things

[01:46] [nmoreno94] ok

[01:46] [zorg] how is the weather in montevideo

[01:47] * JerryS (Holland, MI, US) has joined

[01:47] [nmoreno94] good, temperature 18 and the skies are clear

[01:48] * JerryS has left

[01:48] * zorg: 6.9249MHz, USB, 3kHz

[01:48] * zorg: 6.9249MHz, USB, 3kHz

[01:48] * zorg: 6.9249MHz, USB, 3kHz

[01:48] * zorg: 6.9249MHz, USB, 3kHz

[01:48] * zorg: 6.925MHz, USB, 3kHz

[01:48] * zorg: 6.925MHz, USB, 3kHz

[01:48] * zorg: 6.9251MHz, USB, 3kHz

[01:48] * nickstr1 has left

[01:48] * zorg: 6.9252MHz, USB, 3kHz

[01:48] * zorg: 6.9253MHz, USB, 3kHz

[01:48] * zorg: 6.9253MHz, AM, 3kHz

[01:48] * zorg: 6.9253MHz, AM, 6kHz

[01:49] * zorg sets AGC: On

[01:49] * zorg sets AGC: Off

[01:52] * RF (NC, US) has joined

[01:52] * zorg: 6.9253MHz, USB, 6kHz

[01:52] * zorg: 6.9253MHz, USB, 3kHz

[01:53] * zorg: 6.9252MHz, USB, 3kHz

[01:54] * zorg: 6.9251MHz, USB, 3kHz

[01:54] * zorg: 6.9252MHz, USB, 3kHz

[01:54] * zorg: 6.9252MHz, USB, 1.5kHz

[01:54] * ww511usa (Empire State Ny, US) has joined

[01:54] * ww511usa has left

[01:54] * zorg: 6.9252MHz, AM, 1.5kHz

[01:54] * N9KX (Stillman Valley, US) has joined

[01:54] * zorg: 6.9252MHz, AM, 6kHz

[01:54] * zorg: 6.9253MHz, AM, 6kHz

[01:55] * N9KX has left

[01:55] * nmoreno94 has left

[01:56] * ww511usa (Empire State Ny, US) has joined

[01:56] * RF sets AGC: On

[01:56] * zorg: 6.9253MHz, USB, 6kHz

[01:56] * zorg: 6.9253MHz, USB, 3kHz

[01:57] * ww511usa has left

[01:58] * Inchon9151950 has left

[02:02] * RF sets AGC: Off

[02:07] [RF] damn, i better go buy some anti-freeze and add a little.. later. hold 'er down

[02:07] * RF has left

[02:07] * kb3kjs (, ) has joined

[02:08] * kb3kjs has left

[02:16] [kracker] ATTENTION:- kracker has Requested To Tune

[02:16] [kracker] put it on am

[02:18] [kracker] jesus man

[02:18] [kracker] everyone friggin fall asleep?

[02:18] * kracker: 6.9253MHz, AM, 3kHz

[02:18] [pizzadxer] i can't set it here either

[02:19] * kracker: 6.9253MHz, USB, 3kHz

[02:19] [kracker] i got it

[02:19] [pizzadxer] now i can

[02:19] * kracker: 6.9253MHz, AM, 3kHz

[02:19] * kracker: 6.9253MHz, USB, 3kHz

[02:19] * kracker: 6.9253MHz, AM, 3kHz

[02:20] * kracker: 6.9253MHz, USB, 3kHz

[02:20] * kracker: 6.9253MHz, AM, 3kHz

[02:20] [kracker] devinatly am

[02:20] [kracker] the music

[02:20] [kracker] someone jamming too

[02:20] [pizzadxer] yip

[02:22] [kracker] xp thump u hear that?

[02:23] [pizzadxer] lol

[02:23] [kracker] someone playing with a tone genny

[02:24] [kracker] hear their computer again?

[02:24] [kracker] somone being maliciouse

[02:24] [kracker] seriouse

[02:25] [pizzadxer] yep

[02:25] [kracker] it is vista i think judging from the pc generated sounds

[02:25] [kracker] poet uses vista

[02:25] [kracker] i know this to be a fact

[02:25] [kracker] not too many morons use vista

[02:26] [kracker] most ppl realise it is a bloated piece of schit

[02:37] * kracker: 6.9276MHz, AM, 3kHz

[02:38] * kracker: 6.9285MHz, AM, 3kHz

[02:40] * kracker: 6.93MHz, AM, 3kHz

[02:44] * RF (NC, US) has joined

[02:44] [RF] man i'm tired

[02:45] [pizzadxer] tired here too

[02:46] [RF] filppin anti freeze is now half water for the same price

[02:47] [pizzadxer] man

[02:47] [RF] as it was full strength

[02:48] [pizzadxer] thats outrageous

[02:49] * Receiver has been locked by RF

[02:50] [RF] lemme know if ya wanna tne

[02:50] [pizzadxer] ok

[02:54] [kracker] anyone get an id yet?

[02:55] * RF sets AGC: On

[02:57] [kracker] thats splatter from like 69285

[02:57] [kracker] how teh hell r u r**

[02:57] [kracker] hope all is well

[02:59] [RF] talk later... got a bj in progress

[03:05] * Receiver locked to Normal users.

[03:05] * RF has left

[03:13] * Inchon9151950 (Ohio , US) has joined

[03:14] * zorg has left

[03:14] * Inchon9151950 has left

[03:14] [kracker] aww

[03:14] [kracker] no tune 4u

[03:14] * rmarte (castleton on hudson ny, US) has joined

[03:14] [kracker] next

[03:14] * rmarte has left

[03:14] [kracker] pmlol

[03:14] [kracker] aww

[03:15] [kracker] owner locked the tuner so sad too bad here have a cookie.. next

[03:16] * (name red.): 6.93MHz, AM, 6kHz

[03:17] [kracker] band opened up

[03:17] [kracker] not just the 3kc adjustment

[03:19] * Inchon9151950 (Ohio , US) has joined

[03:20] * Inchon9151950 has left

[03:20] * johnlock has left

[03:28] * pizzadxer has left

[03:31] * Inchon9151950 (Ohio , US) has joined

[03:31] * Inchon9151950 has left

[03:38] * RF (NC, US) has joined

[03:39] [RF] get an ID?

[03:39] [kracker] wake up r**

[03:39] [RF] lol

[03:39] [kracker] did she swallow?

[03:39] [RF] like a champ

[03:39] [kracker] enquiring minds wanna know

[03:39] [RF] haha

[03:39] [kracker] good 4 u

[03:40] [kracker] u know where chat i

[03:40] [kracker] s

[03:40] [RF] ya

[03:43] [kracker] hey r**?

[03:43] [RF] yea

[03:43] [kracker] poet is a punk ass beioch

[03:43] [RF] is this him?

[03:44] [kracker] thinkin it is northern relay

[03:44] [kracker] poet friendly

[03:44] [RF] kk

[03:44] [kracker] no matter

[03:44] [kracker] i got their ass kicked at will

[03:45] [RF] did he get the bust? you mentioned or someone did bcasting

[03:47] * (name red.): 6.9302MHz, AM, 6kHz

[03:47] * (name red.): 6.9302MHz, USB, 6kHz

[03:47] * (name red.): 6.9302MHz, USB, 3kHz

[03:48] * (name red.): 6.9302MHz, LSB, 3kHz

[03:48] [kracker] wow you totaly fucked that up

[03:48] * (name red.): 6.9302MHz, USB, 3kHz

[03:48] [kracker] congrats

[03:48] [(name red.)] que?

[03:48] [kracker] got any other tricks up your sleve?

[03:49] * (name red.): 6.9302MHz, AM, 3kHz

[03:49] * (name red.): 6.9302MHz, AM, 5.1kHz

[03:49] * (name red.): 6.93MHz, AM, 5.1kHz

[03:49] [kracker] wow your amazingly retared

[03:49] * Receiver has been locked by RF

[03:49] [(name red.)] is you rado?

[03:49] [kracker] retarded

[03:49] [(name red.)] que?

[03:49] [RF] no but it IS mine

[03:49] [kracker] no your just a friggin moron

[03:49] [kracker] fucktard

[03:49] [(name red.)] ok RF thanks you my freind

[03:50] [kracker] get fuckin lost dumb ass

[03:50] [(name red.)] is good rado is fast

[03:50] [RF] whats the freq K?

[03:50] [(name red.)] I thanks you adeus

[03:50] [kracker] your still a fuckin moron you stupid piece of schit

[03:51] [(name red.)] que?

[03:51] [kracker] take a long walk off a short pier

[03:51] [kracker] fuck you asshat

[03:51] [kracker] your the result of a gang rape on a pool table

[03:51] [(name red.)] I sorry my english no so good

[03:51] [kracker] like i could give a fuck

[03:52] [kracker] go some where they speak your language cockwad

[03:52] [kracker] like the land of brown eye

[03:53] [(name red.)] you speak what?

[03:57] * Inchon9151950 (Ohio , US) has joined

[03:57] * Inchon9151950 has left

[03:58] [(name red.)] ok I thanks you my freinds adeus good dx