Grinch Faux, he stared with a baleful glare
a stare as bare as any may dare...
...and the Lagomurph blinked.
by Grinch Faux
The Lagomurph blinked and blinked and blinked
And off he'd slink in a terrible stink
to scribble some more of his stinkety ink.
Some stinkety ink about horrible Pinks
who dare to speak up whenever he finks.
This Week In Radio Paranoia: Mark it on your calendars, dear readers. Blarg date 29 November 2011, Commander Bunny begs for surrender in the pirate war that exists only in his imagination.
"YOU STOP – get your asshat monkey friends (Corq, aka: Guise Faux, HF Underground, Bxxxxxx Jxxxxx, Txxxx Txxxx, Kxxxx Mxxxxx & posts on FRC) to stop and then we’ll stop. How does that sound for a Peace Treaty? REMOVE ALL OFFENDING ATTACKS against Commander Bunny, Kracker and his friends…OR NO TREATY!"
"...you don’t want your full name and public address being posted on the WBNY website? Then you stop doing the same thing to other people in Pirate Radio, and have your nasty little monkey friends stop it! Corq aka: Guise(honestly its not a secret anymore), HF Underpants, FRC etc. You stop it or it I will keep it visible and public until the end of time! Think I’m fooling? Try me! Here is your chance to END IT"
--Commander Bunny, WBNY blog, "WBNY WEBSITE: 28,933 Visitors EVERY SINGLE DAY!", November 29, 2011
Yes, it's a ranty rabid rabbit sort of huffy puffy threatening sort of surrender, but the real message is clear when you read betwixt the
Whilst we appreciate the Lagomurph's conciliatory gesture and tacit admission of guilt in prosecuting an imaginary war, it's completely unnecessary. The war, if one exists, is totally within his paranoid imagination. Just as it has been for over a decade.
Take the cure for myxomatosis, dear fellow. Relieve yourself of the obviously heavy burden of guilt you're experiencing for having dragged so many innocent peripheral bystanders into your bizarro world orbit. No need for unseemly public atonement. Just start privately...
...with "Spore", whom you publicly slandered whilst exposing the names addresses and amateur radio call signs of an entire family, without even knowing for certain that you'd targeted the correct person in your tantrum.
...with Radio Ga-Ga, whom you needlessly baited into an argument, with your Beans and Official Press Release sockpuppets, over a minor allegation of QRM that could easily have been resolved less melodramatically - and certainly without your publicly identifying his city.
...with Doc John for attempting to entrap him and silence his station, again using a sockpuppet, followed by your hysterical spectacle of slanders and pleading tantrums on the FRN, on your blog, your Facebook account, on the Free Radio Weekly and by e-mail to dozens of people.
...finally, with the many innocent individuals whom you have targeted in your misguided rage, in particular Gayle Van Horn who did absolutely nothing to you other than to pop up as some sort of apparition in your fevered imaginings.
Don't apologize because we've suggested it. Do it for you own peace of mind.
We are not warriors. We are historians to your hysterias. All we've done here is to document what we've observed. We are but attentive scribes, jotting down the lyrics sung by a tragi-comic tenor, transcribing the notes to this humoresque as best we can whilst attempting, in our ever so 'umble way, to convey the full scope of emotion, intrigue and brilliant irony in your personal opera.
And in that pursuit of yeomanlike documentary of your adventures through free radio and the blargosphere, we shall on occasion challenge, correct and refute your more incredible calumnies, defamations and dissemblings, in the pursuit of noble truth.
Such truth will on occasion, as appropriate, make reference to your true identity. Not out of any sense of malice, but in the pursuit of accuracy. As you well know from your long career, you are, after all, a public figure - or, at the very least, a limited public figure - within the standard definitions of journalism practice in North America. Your distinguished career in licensed commercial broadcasting and various endeavors in regional politics and commentaries on regional issues ranging from politics to the media clearly qualify you for such consideration and we would be remiss in failing to note that distinction. But you already know this. We've listened to your talk radio shows. We've read your commentaries on regional issues.
And none of your thrashings over the situation with Poet and TCS will distract us from the attentions you have earned the
Meanwhile, virtually none of the persons you have targeted for your... attentions... shall we say, scurrilous diatribes?... would qualify as even limited public figures. The lone possible exception might be Mrs. Van Horn, but as we have attempted to assure you and Kracker repeatedly, she has had naught to do with Tales of Radio Paranoia.
By the by, dear fellow, we noticed your recent frantic revisions to the above cited WBNY blarg now include some new names. You should be aware that there is a strong possibility that one or more of those persons are free radio operators and have done absolutely nothing to merit your peculiarly expressed affections. We mention this only in the interest of helping you to avoid yet another embarrassing situation in which you have once again dropped dox and exposed others to the attentions of regulatory enforcement officers.
And, dear readers, we strongly suggest that in order to avoid such uninvited attentions from the Lagomurph, you may wish to join us in chanting... Good luck, buddy, I'm behind seven Boxxies!
News of the Now - for real
Still feeling a bit misogynistic?
International Freedom of Expression - IFEX members highlight risks faced by female journalists on International Day for the Elimination of Violence against Women.
Video of the Now
Still feeling like dropping dox and exposing real names, addresses and personal information about people who've done nothing to merit your angst?
StealthBadger soberly explains "Why You Don't Drop Dox"